Introduction:
Children are very vulnerable creatures. Hence, positive and effective communication with them is very important. Even if parents are very frustrated or have had a bad day, it is important not to use certain words or statements that will have an impact on their children throughout their life.
What are the Things That Parents Must Never Tell their Children?
Following are certain things that parents must never ever tell their children if they really want them to be successful.
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I Wish You Very Never Born in the First Place
This is a very harsh and hurtful statement that one can ever tell their child. They start feeling that their very own existence does not matter to anyone. They start developing low self-esteem, and their confidence level starts dropping. Hence, never ever use this statement in front of the child.
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I Wish You Were Clever Like Your Sibling
Passing such a statement not only makes the child feel unworthy of themselves but also starts building feelings of jealousy, unwanted fights, and hatred towards their own sibling. Remember that all five fingers are not the same. If the child is not that good in their studies, parents can help him out in his studies. But passing such naive comments will not do any good either. If the child is good at sketching, parents can help them build his or her interest by making him or her take up such hobby classes in his or her part-time, along with helping out with studies. But remember, constant comparison among siblings is not good.
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You Were Born Unplanned. We Did Not Want You
Telling children such things will make them feel that their own support system (their parents) does not love them enough, and the child constantly starts feeling that they were just a mistake and that their parents will not care for them anytime. Hence, avoid telling the child such things ever.
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Please Do Not Cry Like a Girl or Crying Is Only Meant for Girls
Please avoid gender roles when it comes to crying and expressing one’s feelings. Parents are suppressing feelings by telling the male child that crying is only for girls. Next time, the male child hides his pain and does not express things to the parents. Instead, ask the child politely as to what is the matter that is bothering him and that both would find out a solution together for it.
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You Are Stupid or Silly
Never call the child stupid. Even if the child has committed a mistake, there are ways to explain to the child to help the child improve himself or herself. Calling the child stupid or passing negative remarks will make the child feel useless and good for nothing. They will be afraid to try out new things the next time. Hence, it is advisable never ever to call the child stupid anytime. All are human beings, and all tend to commit mistakes at some point or the other, but that does not make anyone stupid or silly.
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Never Ever Complain About Your Spouse to Your Child
People may sometimes have arguments and fights with their partner or spouse, and they tend to complain about their partner to their children. Little do they realize that the child is too young to handle this situation. We still keep telling them about how one’s partner behaved in an inappropriate way. In the long run, because of this habit unknowingly, the child starts disliking that parent, and it may spoil their relationship. Hence, never ever complain about the spouse to the child.
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Telling Your Child That Your Friend Has Scored Much Better and That He or She Could Have Done Better
Never make the mistake of telling the child that his or her friend has scored much better and that he or she could have done better. It leads to a sense of constant peer pressure and jealousy among children. They might even stop liking that particular friend whom they keep comparing the child with and might stop building a friendship or playing with that particular friend because of this constant comparison being done. Instead, as a parent, it is essential to recognize and appreciate the efforts made by the child.
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You Should Always Be the Best at Everything
Right from when the kid joins preschool, parents sometimes unknowingly create a rat race for them, wanting them to be the best in everything. It may be studies, sports, or extracurricular activities. Parents should never create this extra pressure among children. They are kids. Let them enjoy their childhood. Tell them that it is completely fine if they were not able to get a particular score or if they did not win a particular game. Tell them that their efforts matter the most and that their efforts will always seem very important. If parents constantly pressurize them to be the best, they might also be a victim of depression at a very young age. So it is very important for the parents to be aware and communicate with their child.
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Never Tell Your Child That They Are Good for Nothing
Avoid passing statements on the child, saying that they are good for nothing. Every child is unique, and God has blessed everyone with some kind of talent. Some may be good at singing, and some may excel at studies. Some may really be good at sports. That does not mean that the child is good for nothing just because he or she does not excel at studies.
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Never Tell Your Child Constantly That They Are a Burden to You Staying in Their House
Constantly telling the child that they are living in the house and are supposed to do this and that. This will actually make the kid feel like a big burden on their parents. They may actually start feeling very worthless and will slowly and gradually develop very low self-esteem and a low confidence level.
Conclusion:
Parenting is very important as it helps in promoting the physical, emotional, social, spiritual, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. A child's mind is very easy to manipulate and has a lot of potential to learn and grow. As a parent, there are certain things to keep in mind while dealing with a child.