I feel myself in perpetual nihilism and total apathy with anxiety attacks. Why?

Question

Hello doctor,

I am having some anxiety attacks right now because I am feeling overwhelmed with the medical school application process. I have a history of undiagnosed major depression (the reason I know I have it is that I studied psychology at university and know the symptoms and etiology pretty well) I can feel all my confidence, esteem, and mental health deteriorating at an unprecedented rate and feel myself slipping.

I come from a collectivistic and tough cultural background, so for me, this is much more than simply a career choice. I did not do great on my exams. I have a lot of people who depend on me, and I feel like I am letting them down, and I am not meeting expectations. It does not help that the chair of pre-med at my university flat-out told me that my statement sucked (after I had already applied because she did not give me feedback in time).

The reason why I have never sought out my depression previously is because of my background, which influences my parents into thinking I am crazy or something is severely wrong with me. They are pretty old and would not understand. I graduated this year and minored in philosophy, and I did pretty well in it, but it came with a price, I was once pretty religious, but my faith has fallen, and I am a borderline atheist. In general, I feel myself in perpetual nihilism and total apathy. I am not sure how to move forward.

Answer 1

Hello,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

Feelings and symptoms like palpitations, getting a heart attack, difficulty in breathing, digestive concerns, and sleep problems can be a part of heart-related issues or anxiety. Besides worrying consistently and preoccupations are also a part of it. Since you have mentioned that it is because of career-related and performance-based. It can further analyed by thought processes when you are having such symptoms.

After analyzing thoughts, cognitive behavior therapy thought channelization, and restructuring is quite helpful. Also, to make yourself relax, you can do the following:

1. Deep breathing excercises.

2. Walk for at least 30 minutes per day.

3. Workout if possible to release toxins out of your body.

4. Reduce smoking (if you do).

5. Avoid junk and spicy food, soft drinks.

6. Increase water intake.

7. Thought diary or journaling would be also helpful for analyzing and restructuring of thoughts (underlying cause) of the problem. You can also have an appointment with the counselor to help you in assessing and provide you with individualized therapy as per requirement. Thought to remember is you did your best at all stages of life, results do not matter. You are not the master of the world and cannot have control over things. The only thing which you can control is your psyche and thoughts and direct them in the way which makes you healthier to perform the way you are doing.Ups and downs are part of the struggle, keep moving on.

I feel myself in perpetual nihilism and total apathy with anxiety attacks. Why?

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