I am newly married and my husband does not care for me. How to manage my relationship?

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I completely understand that you feel disturbed due to your partner-related problems. Every girl faces challenges at the start of her marital life. For some girls, it may be difficult to adjust to the new partner/ family. Some of them get adjusted after spending time with in-laws and understanding them. Major problems that arise between couples are due to communication problems e.g., not discussing the issues directly with the partner, assuming that your partner must be thinking like this, lack of communication/not talking about the problems, or ignoring them. This may lead to 3rd party involvement such as in-laws start interfering because they see partners are unable to resolve their issues. I suggest you some of the strategies which may help you and your partner resolve marital issues. Take couple counseling from a psychologist and learn effective communication skills to sort out daily life issues. Directly communicate the problems with your partner before discussing them with any third person. Share your real feelings with your partner such as how much you feel concerned about your relationship, how much you love or care about your partner, etc. If communicating any negative feeling e.g., anger hurtful feelings, focus on your tone of voice and body language. A polite talk with the next person can resolve many problems even if you communicate your negative feeling, but the key is your polite and low tone and saying words that are similar to your internal or real state. E.g. if you are saying to your partner I love you and saying it with grimaces and a loud voice this is not going to communicate your real feelings and the next person will believe in your body language, not the words, which will definitely leave a negative message. In this scenario, if you are trying to resolve the problem by crying or shouting, this will even worsen the problem instead of doing something positive to your relationship. Tell him that you feel to resolve the issues, and wonder if your circumstances can change. Think about something positive in your relationship and tell your partner. For instance, praise his good qualities and anything you like in your partner. Spend time with your partner talking about each other and planning something that you both enjoy. It can be an outing, working together on home chores, laughing/talking together, making love, or anything that you both prefer to do. As you spend time, figure out the reasons for disagreement or conflicts between you and your partner. Start working on the issues to resolve the problems. Remember, problems are a part of life, so every time you face a problem, just apply a problem-solving approach. Apply above mentioned tips and techniques. If you face difficulty or further need assistance, you both can directly go to a psychologist's office and ask for couple counseling.

Thank you.