I am 61 years old. I have been decompensating by becoming more depressed and anxious. I moved to a new town 5 months ago. My husband is 70 years old and his health is deteriorating. He is having serious symptoms of COPD for which he is getting treatment but I am fearful that he will not get better because it is irreversible. A month ago he was diagnosed with throat cancer. This is the second time I have helped him dealing with emotional and physical side effects.
I am on 5 mg of Clonapin twice a week, Neurontin 140 mg, Seroquel 300 mg to sleep, Gabapentin 200 mg as mood stabilizer, and 20 mg of Lexapro. I have been treated for depression and anxiety since I was 14 years old. I was sexually molested at the age of seven and never told anyone. Last year I told my husband. I started drinking at 13 years and weed at 14 years. I had therapy off and on my whole life. I have chronic fatigue syndrome for over a year due to my extreme stress. I have been on SSDI for 10 years for my back problems, anxiety and depression. There are lots more trauma. I have been clean and sober for 22 years.
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I can imagine it would be so difficult for you to handle so much all by yourself. And I can see that your past trauma is still holding a place in your mind and is effecting you negatively.
I would suggest to start counseling therapy session, there are so many things pent-up in your mind that they are going to have a negative impact on your health.
With the therapist,
1. You will be able to vent out and have a safe place for conversation.
2. The therapist will help you learn coping skills.
3. You will be able to recognize your own negative subconscious thought patterns which are keeping you in the loop of negativity.
4. You can learn some techniques which would help you out with control of anxiety and depression symptoms. If you are not comfortable with that, I would suggest you to at least start some productive habits like journaling, meditation, deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, etc., which would make you feel a little better.
So, I would suggest you to start counseling sessions as soon as possible. You can find a local therapist or you can start therapy session online in a video consultation with me.
I hope this helps.
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