I have depression, suicidal thoughts and low self-esteem. Please help.

Hello,

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You have described facing several adverse childhood experiences like losing your mother, and indifferent father addicted to alcohol and lack of loving support while growing up. These adverse life events could have potentially affected your feelings like, making you feel low, affect your self-esteem, and cause suicidal thoughts. Anyone in your situation would have probably felt the same. It is good to know that you had some support from a friend before. It is important not to isolate yourself when you are feeling like this. Try to meet supportive people regularly. If you are in education or doing a job, try to speak to a senior person and see whether they can be a mentor to support and guide you. If you are spiritual, try visiting holy places regularly if you find it helpful. You have said that you feel happy when you are around the people and low again when lonely, this is understandable. People feel better in practical social situations. You will also benefit by consulting a doctor who can do a full assessment of the nature and severity of your symptoms, and it will clarify whether you have clinical depression. Try to speak to your friend and family and make sure you get help. You may need some counseling support or therapy to help you move forward in life. Equally important is self-help measures like eating healthily, sleeping well, exercise regularly, keeping yourself gainfully occupied, and having positive social relationships. Thank you.