HomeAnswersPsychologist/ Counselorpsychological counsellingI find it hard to judge others. Please help.

How to judge a person wisely?

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The following is an actual conversation between an iCliniq user and a doctor that has been reviewed and published as a Premium Q&A.

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iCliniq medical review team

Published At December 16, 2015
Reviewed AtFebruary 15, 2024

Patient's Query

Hi doctor,

I am a 21-year-old male and I feel I am usually a little under-confident in judging someone. Whether known or a stranger, objectively it is really difficult for me. Please give me some tips regarding this. I mean it to be as general as possible.

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

Every person has numerous traits or habits. A person is sum total of his thoughts, words, and actions. When you think of judging a person, it is making a global judgment. If you really need to be objective, you need to judge a person's actions, habits, and thoughts individually. But, I get what you mean to ask. Here are my thoughts on it: Judge a person by how much he contributes to the welfare of others. Judge a person on the basis of his thoughts. It is only thought which defines an individual. Judge a person by his actions in the past and present. Judge a person on the basis of how he treats his subordinates because there is only one way of treating the boss. Judge a person on the basis of his behavior during the crisis, not when things are going great. Judge a person on the basis of what he does for the welfare of others, not on the basis of how much he earns. Judge a person on the basis of his common sense, not his qualifications. Judge a person not on his looks, but on how he makes others feel. Another thing to note is that it is neither wise nor necessary to judge people all the time. No one has perfect judgment. Because, judgment is subjective and based only on available facts, not on the whole truth. Besides, it can make us prejudiced unnecessarily. Also, people change with time.

Thank you.

Patient's Query

Hi doctor,

Thank you for your help. These points will be greatly appreciated in case where I have to judge. If you would be so kind, I would also request a tip to look past my own past judgment when trying to understand someone's action or motivation.

Hi,

Welcome back to icliniq.com.

You could write down in a diary about the times when your judgment about a person went wrong or was not useful. It will remind you that you are not always right while making judgments. You could write examples of when other people's judgment about you or someone else went wrong. Whenever your past judgment makes you prejudiced about a person's actions, you can open the diary and read about an example of misjudgment or when being judgmental was not useful. This will reduce your conviction of your past judgment and with time and effort; you will be able to look past your past judgment.

Thank you.

Same symptoms don't mean you have the same problem. Consult a doctor now!

Dr. Saraswat Kumarshri Shriniwas
Dr. Saraswat Kumarshri Shriniwas

Psychiatry

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