Q. I always fantasize that my wife has an extramarital affair. How to overcome this?

Answered by
Dr. Mehwish Mursaleen
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
Published on Apr 12, 2018 and last reviewed on: Oct 09, 2018

Hello doctor,

I am suffering from a mental disease in which I always think that my wife will be in an extramarital affair and get back with her boyfriend. How can I overcome this situation? I masturbate when I think about it. In the past, I used to suffer from thoughts that all the girls cheat and use boys for their benefit.

Dr. Mehwish Mursaleen

Psychologist/ Counsellor


Welcome to icliniq.com.

I completely understand that you feel concerned about negative thoughts coming in your mind related to your wife and girls in general.

There might be negative experiences related to opposite gender which might have a negative influence on your mind and you have developed such beliefs which cause interpersonal difficulties with your wife in current situations.

The first thing you can do to change your beliefs is to go in depth to your past experiences that are affecting your present relationship. We relive past experiences and deal according to unhealthy copings we had developed in the past to deal with traumatic experiences in the present. This always has a negative influence on our present.

You are suggested to base your perceptions according to your current life circumstances, avoid comparisons with past life because it will make your present and future worse.

Secondly, as you experience negative thoughts such as 'my wife will be in an extramarital affair and get back with her boyfriend', you need to understand that these thoughts are just the product of your mind and might not be the reality. As you do not find proofs, your mind will be ready to change these thoughts.

Just change them with positive/neutral thoughts such as "she is with me and has no reason to be with anyone. She is married to me, as she is getting along with me, and she loves me". This is just an example. You can suggest your own positive thoughts in your own wordings.

Just practice these thoughts whenever the negative thoughts pop-up in your mind. Gradually your mind will start believing and you will develop healthy beliefs and thoughts which will positively influence your relationship with wife.

I hope this is helpful for you. Do take follow-up if you feel the need. Best Regards.

For more information consult a psychologist counselor online --> https://www.icliniq.com/ask-a-doctor-online/psychologist-counsellor

Was this answer helpful?


Ask a QueryAsk a Query Consult by PhoneConsult by Phone Video ChatVideo Chat
Also Read Answers From:

Comprehensive Medical Second Opinion.Submit your Case

Related Questions & Answers

My daughter is hypersensitive to insult and criticism. How to make her feel confident?

Query: Hi doctor,My daughter is 13 years old. For the medical record, she is yet to experience menarche. She is intelligent, cheerful, very creative, bubbly and incredibly empathetic child. I believe she is the best thing ever happened to us. I have a concern about her. She is very sensitive and cries at t...  Read Full »

How to cope with breakup after long term relationship?

Query: Hi doctor, One year ago, I had a serious breakup with my girlfriend. It was a relationship of five years. Even today, I am not able to forget her. I keep thinking about her. I am not able to concentrate on anything. I feel lonely. What do I do?  Read Full »

My fiance is not giving me time and I am feeling depressed. Please help.

Query: Hello doctor, I feel so depressed from the past few weeks. I am in a relationship wherein, my fiance is not able to give me time. We are in the relationship for the past 5 years. I am so addicted to him that I do not have any other friends in my life and I feel he is my everything. Due to some reas...  Read Full »



Ask your health query to a doctor online?

Ask a Psychologist Counsellor Now

* guaranteed answer within 4 hours.
Enter Your Health Query
You can upload files and images in the next step.



Disclaimer: All health Q&As published on this website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical diagnosis, advice or treatment by a trained physician. Seek the advice from your physician or other qualified health-care providers with questions you may have regarding your symptoms and medical condition for a complete medical diagnosis. Do not delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice because of something you have read on this website.