I feel rather extremely angry than at the same time, very sad. I always have this very gory thoughts that I wanted to kidnap and torture the person I hate and again, at the same time, I want to hurt myself because I am so incompetent and I always feel like all the people think the same way to me, that I am incompetent and that if I die, everyone will be happy. I also started gripping things strongly and I always try to stop when I notice. Am I really unstable? Does this mean I cannot do my work properly?
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How long have you been experiencing these symptoms like extreme anger, sadness, and other difficult emotions? Has there been anything ongoing stressors in your life that affects you negatively? From the information you have provided, it appears that you are stressed, experiencing depressive thoughts, and need support to cope with the emotional difficulties.
Speak to a trusted family member/friend about your difficulties so that they can understand and support you. Do not keep things to yourself as it will add to your stress.
Having fantasy thoughts of wanting to hurt the person you hate and self-harming thoughts can happen if you are overwhelmed by your situation and not having positive coping strategies. You need to consult a psychiatrist near your place for a comprehensive assessment to clarify the nature and severity of symptoms based on which counseling or therapy can be provided. With the right treatment, you will feel more in control of yourself and will be able to function normally.
I hope this helps.
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