How to handle the ego of an 18 year old girl?

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

Your daughter is 18 years and that means she is in her late adolescent period where these people do believe that they are mature enough to handle everything and are capable of taking decisions according to the circumstances. They believe so, but in actuality, they are not mature at all. We knew that, but they do not accept the fact. This is where you have to be very careful while interacting with her. You should know and understand that your daughter may not just take your advice because she thinks she is mature enough to take her own decisions. As she never accepts your advice, repeating the same advice, again and again, irritates her. So, she counters and disregards you and you get irritated, angry, and advise her again and again. This has been going on for weeks together and now you are here. The distance between you and your daughter increases more and more. The only way to get out of this is to accept your daughter's mistake and forgive her. This action, if said and applied properly will act as an appreciation for her and this appreciation could change her present attitude to you. Do not get angry or irritated while talking to your daughter even if she gets angry as everything will become negative again. Accept her behavior, decision, etc., for the time being. Reduce the gap between you and your daughter. Definitely, it will take some time. Be patient. Once the gap has reduced considerably, you can easily put your point. Once your daughter accepts that you are respectable and can approach you with her difficulties, she will also accept your advice. I remind you that this will take time. Please be patient because this is the only way out.

Thank you.

Hi,

Welcome back to icliniq.com.

I can see the trouble of parenting an adamant girl. You are doing a great job looking after three children and your occupation together. You also will be stressed immensely. Now is the time you should reduce some of your burdens, and stress and relax. I do not have any information about your elder child. Hope she is doing well and carrying on according to your advice. Regarding your second 18 year young female child, she should be made to understand what life is? In that sense, you have done your job perfectly for 18 years. Loved, nurtured, cared for her, and provided everything that you could. You performed the role of a parent perfectly. You did your designated job. Now, your daughter is a young adult. As I already said, she believes she is mature, can handle things, and take a decision by herself. If you try to contradict her, then a quarrel will be the result. You have had enough of such experiences. Therefore, advices are of no use. She would not listen to you. The only leftover alternative is to let her learn life herself hereafter and she may fail or do well. Everything is learning. Every time she fails to do something and she will learn something. Your duty is to be supportive and appreciate her positives and gently point out her negatives so that she understands. Never force your opinion. Respect her, love her and slowly she will come back to your fold and arms. She will learn life adequately, though it could take some time. I suggest you observe the tussle between you and your daughter as a healthy ego tussle. In the end, both of you will win. So, wait and watch.

Thank you.