Q. How can low confidence associated with premature ejaculation be managed?

Answered by
Dr. Ruhi Satija
and medically reviewed by Dr. Divya Banu M
This is a premium question & answer published on Mar 23, 2020

Hello doctor,

I am male, 26 years old, sex insecure and low experienced, first trauma got 99 during bombing of Yugoslavia, had to get new urinal channel, and product of that is I am circumised. Later in school, I have been bullied for 4 years constantly, physical and mentally by my "school friends". Could not get into relationship till 25th year old, had 7 times sex, with 10 seconds each. Troubling to stay erect, fast ejaculation, and even lower self-confindence than before.

Now I am troubling and overthinking what will happen next time, will there be next time, although it is hard to get into relationships because of that, cannot stop pressuring myself with being bad in bed and unexpirienced, as time pass, it only gets worse.

Dr. Ruhi Satija



Welcome to icliniq.com.

I am so sorry to hear about your situation, I can imagine how hard it is for you. So you are describing a few things here, when is the problem of premature ejaculation, second is performance anxiety which is making you overthink, third is low self confidence. Probably that came from the bullying and the trauma that you endured. I would suggest you to start therapy sessions to help you build your confidence which will help you in decreasing the performance anxiety and then it will of course improve the problem of premature ejaculation.

If the mental health is stable, sexual issues often resolve. Is there some neurological issues you will need to talk to a neurologist or a urologist for that. Try doing kegel exercise regularly which will help you in strengthening the muscle of pelvis which helps in premature ejaculation. Apart from that you will require therapy sessions to work on your confidence building and reducing anxiety. Cognitive behavioral therapy will help you in achieving this.

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