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Q. Is my premature ejaculation due to fear or a lifelong problem?

Answered by
Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
This is a premium question & answer published on Nov 28, 2016 and last reviewed on: Nov 26, 2020

Hello doctor,

I am a 34 year old unmarried male. I can hold my ejaculation during foreplay with my girlfriend, but I cannot even control it for more than 30 seconds after entering into the vagina. Is this a problem of lifelong PE? Or is it happening due to fear or performance anxiety? Once I used condom to get out of the fear, but the problem did not solve. I am going to marry soon. I have a strong fear that the problem will arise in marriage life. So, I am avoiding marriage. In my past, I had a habit of masturbation since the age of 14. Initially, two to three times daily and gradually the frequency reduced. But, I still masturbate. My semen comes out in a few seconds while watching porn. But, without watching porn I can control it for 4 to 5 minutes by the start-stop method. Once, I used Dapoxetine 30 mg on masturbation and it worked. But, when I used it for the second time with a sex worker, I did not get an erection and left disappointed. Also, I do not want to use medicines as it has a side effect of lowering sex drive. So, I could not understand my actual problem. Please clarify it.



Welcome to

I read your query and understand your concerns.

  • From the available description, it appears that there is a psychogenic premature ejaculation.
  • Holding it for 30 minutes while having oral sex and not holding even for a few minutes during penetrative sex is clearly indicative of psychological premature ejaculation.
  • There is no indication that you have a lifelong premature ejaculation. It is definitely treatable either with medication or psychotherapy.
  • I understand your fear about medication, but there is no indication that it causes decrease in sex drive.
  • In regard to other methods of treatment, Kegel exercise has the most value. Through Kegel exercise try to hold ejaculation up to 15 seconds initially and increase by 1 or 2 seconds per day. The results may take time, but there will be a definite improvement.

For further doubts consult an andrologist online -->

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