Dr. K. V. Anand
Psychiatry
The following is an actual conversation between an iCliniq user and a doctor that has been reviewed and published as a Premium Q&A.
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Patient's Query
Hi doctor,
My friend is getting married in another six months and it is a love marriage. When his fiance was in her second relationship she fell in love with my friend. After a few months, only he came to know that she does not seriously love him. She started loving him so seriously when he lost his conscious and fainted on the floor one day. From then onwards she realized his love and they decided to get married. My friend requested her many times to share her past, but she denied it. Now he came to know, she had been in a long-term relationship with two guys before. Also, he came to know that she used to text many guys with kiss symbols, etc. Now, my friend is unable to forget her past and psychologically he is not well. He has not been in any kind of relationship with anyone. Why he has got a girl like this? Day by day he is becoming psychologically tired. Please suggest something. Your valuable replies will be the tonic for my friend. It will be really helpful.
Hi,
Welcome to icliniq.com.
This is a psychological dilemma. Naturally equivalent to a conflict-induced depression state. Your friend should accept the fact that his present girlfriend had those physical relationships and come to terms with that. Now he has two options. One is to marry his girlfriend and live with her. In that case, he has to accept that a pre-marital relationship is nothing to worry about. Present love and affection are more important. If your friend is unable to adjust to this situation, the whole married life will be ruined. The second option is to forget his girlfriend. The reasons are she had intimate physical relationships with other guys which psychologically your friend cannot accept. She did not tell the fact earlier. She could even now possibly cheat him by acting like she is in love with him. Your friend has to take either of the two decisions and be committed to it. My advice will be the second option. Once the decision is taken, sustenance is not as tough as it seems.
Thank you.
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Psychiatry
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