Q. How to deal with a recent breakup?

Answered by
Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
This is a premium question & answer published on Mar 13, 2017 and last reviewed on: Jul 23, 2021

Hi doctor,

I am a 20 year old engineering student. Life has been good to me for all these years. Eight months ago I met a girl, and since I met her, I have not spent a day without talking to her, and it was a long distance relationship. Now, I was very inexperienced when it comes to love as it requires to trust another human being. I have fallen for her so deep that I have forgotten myself, my life, my habits, hobbies and cause in life. It is like a mind enslavement, other than physical slavery. This person has requested more and more from me, and I was unable to set boundaries. I have become a shadow of her, pick up her habits, her beliefs and fearing that she would love me less for who I was. I would try to comfort her, even if it was something that defies my logic.

For eight months, I have been living encapsulated into another person. I have failed my exams and was unhappy that I could not stay with her all the time. Every night I would struggle to fall asleep. I have been wasting my energy on planning future with her. I jumped 10 years ahead and started worrying about things. I would hear someone talk and fail to follow after a couple of words, because of daydreaming. I have been on the verge of snapping several times and felt like death was the only solution.

Until a few days ago, I chose to live and be myself again. I physically felt relief. I have stopped worrying so much about others and cared about me. Life felt different all of a sudden. I am on my way to recovery now, and my past haunts me. Whenever I remember how it was, I feel terrified. I also feel that I have done significant damage to myself. My brain has become more sloppy. I have taken depression drugs in the past and sleeping pills when I could not handle the pain. I am starting to learn about myself again, I have forgotten how I used to be. And it feels so weird to be in that place, but very healthy. I am caught up in all this mess, and I would like to hear from others.



Welcome to

I have read the details you provided, and I can understand your concern.

  • It is good that you have improved yourself and are doing fine now. Your primary concern is that you are not able to forget the past and this is bothering you.
  • You are just 20, and you have your whole life to do good, so first of all, stop thinking that you have wasted about a year. If you will continue to do good in future, then a year is not a thing to worry.
  • Avoid thinking that you have forgotten yourself, or you have sloppy thinking. Just eight months cannot change your personality.
  • Spend your time outdoors and do productive activities.
  • Avoid thinking about that things again and again. Repetitive thinking results in loss of focus, and it appears that you have lost your brain power or mind became sloppy. With time you will forget that time, and you will function normally again.
  • You can take Omega-3 fatty acid supplements, it will help in improving the focus, and you will see improvement. Exercise and high protein diet will also help you.

For more information consult a psychiatrist online -->

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