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Q. I am stressed, depressed, and have gained weight. Kindly help me.

Answered by
Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
This is a premium question & answer published on Sep 09, 2020 and last reviewed on: Sep 12, 2020

Hello doctor,

I am a 24-year-old male. I have a good family and working in a leading MNC. I have a bizarre question to ask you. I hope you can give me good counseling. A girl and I were in love for a year. We had some happy times thrice. But note that we did not have any intercourse, to be frank. We used to kiss and, once out of curiosity, did fingering. We had problems, and we got separated later. She is now stating that she is not a virgin and she is impure now. She had betrayed the guy she is going to marry now, these words kill me. I do not want her to talk that way. I am getting mentally depressed when I think of all such things we had earlier. I should not have done those things. But I regret it now. I believe it is all my fault, which may spoil her life. I am scared of whether those may affect her marriage life. I am very much scared. I am not going to the office for the last two months due to such fear. I am unable to sleep nowadays. Once I was the happiest man in the world, but now I am much depressed. My parents are scared to see my current state. Kindly help me to get over this. As a result of this stress and depression, I have gained weight, which further puts me on stress. To add on, nowadays, I am getting scared to see my phone thinking whether she might be calling or texting for scolding me or blackmailing me. Most of the time, my phone is in a switched-off state. I took a stress test, which showed my mark was 37/40. I am unable to be normal. Kindly help me, doctor. Please, I want myself back. Please. Kindly give me good counseling rather than suggesting any medicines. This is my humble request. I hope good counseling can change my mental instability. Help me, doctor.

#

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I must congratulate you that you came out of your single status to seek help. Many well-educated guys like you suffer because of inappropriate guilt. In my view, you have not done anything wrong with your ex-girlfriend. This is natural to have happy moments when you have a suitable partner by your side. What she is saying is just to relieve her guilt. For an orthodox woman, it is very difficult to digest such a breakup. She was probably looking for a life partner in you. Unfortunately, that did not happen because of quarrels in both of you. For your girlfriend's concern, no method can detect virginity. If she remains faithful to her future husband, then there is no matter of concern. This is a well-known fact that hymen can be ruptured by multiple means like playing, swimming, riding, and tampoon. Sex is one of them.

Now I come to the main concern that is related to you. From the available description, it appears that you are leading toward the development of depression. There are two methods of treatment of depression. I understand your concern about drugs, so psychotherapy remains the only option. Before we proceed further, I will need your full profile, including your personality. It will be better if you can contact me through a video consultation to evaluate you further to provide suitable psychotherapy. It is also advisable to involve your ex-girlfriend if possible so that we can hope of speedy recovery. I hope I answered your query and look forward to hearing from you. Regards.


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