Q. I had a sexual fantasy about my mother. Can something like this happen?

Answered by
Dr. J. N. Naidu
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
This is a premium question & answer published on May 29, 2021

Hello doctor,

I am a young woman, and I have a question concerning sexual fantasies. I have always been sexually open, and I was never ashamed of any of my fantasies during self-pleasure. Even when I had a pretty weird fantasy like cheating or having sex with an older man, I was never concerned about that because I knew I would never even want to do that, and I was thinking it for the thrill of the taboo. However, two days ago, during masturbating, I was deep in my fantasies when I suddenly thought about my mother. It was only for a few seconds, but afterward, I felt very weird. I would never want something like that to happen because it is so gross. I usually do not mind weird fantasies because I do not take them seriously. But after that, I am so incredibly ashamed of myself. I want to forget it ever happened, and I feel so gross. Now I am afraid to fantasize because what if I have a weird thought like this again. How can I move on from this and go back to not being ashamed of myself? Can something like this happen, and I should not worry? Does that mean I am a sick person? Can you please guide me?



Welcome to

Sexual fantasies are common in young men and women. There is nothing unusual about it. Some are open about it, and others are not so open. Fantasies are random thoughts in nature. When you had random fantasies about older men, thought about your mother was also random. It is a pretty common fantasy for young women to have sex with older men and older women to have sex with young men. There is nothing abnormal in fantasies. It does not mean anything, and you are not a sick person, and you are perfectly normal.

Thank you for the kind reply doctor,

I want to ask one more thing. I re-read my question and was not sure if I expressed myself correctly. The brief random thought about my mother was also a sexual one, but as I said, I would never want something like that to happen. Is your answer still the same? I want to make sure because I am so relieved by what you said and could barely believe how compassionate you answered, so I was a little afraid that maybe that information did not come across.



Welcome back to

I understand your thoughts. You expressed yourself so candidly; rarely are people so open in sex-related matters. We are human beings with some social norms, and we generally do not cross those limits, but the mind is different. Having random sexual fantasies about other family members is no abnormality. We try to restrict such fantasies because it is socially not acceptable. We are conditioned like that.

There is no problem with you. You are just more open compared to others.

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