Can loneliness and insomnia cause heart problems?

Hello doctor,

My heart has been beating faster than usual (not that fast but faster than normal- if it starts in the evening it goes on like that till the next day) on and off. Also, loud noises (like kids screaming or playing, someone loudly entering my room, someone talking loudly) make it beat faster as well I do not know if that is normal but it happens to me; Also, if it is already beating fast, then it makes it difficult for normal functioning, like even listening to a video in a 2x speed makes it faster or thinking also makes it beat more faster. With overthinking at peak- I could not stop my brain, so I am suffering from inflicted minor self-harm, suicidal thoughts, emotional sensitivity, and difficulty sleeping- cannot sleep till 3 or 4 am. Even after sleeping for one to two hours, I do not feel sleepy until noon the next day. I also have a loss in appetite and I barely eat lunch, I end up crying for no reason (if not every day then every alternate day), I have lost interest in activities, and feel numb. I do not have a good relationship with my family (as I had an abusive and emotionally unavailable dad) living with them is also triggering, overthinking leads to crying and it triggers asthma. I also feel vibrations or sensations in my hands like fidgety hands when my heart is beating faster.

I am constantly feeling like a 'backup', a backup friend, a backup child, a backup classmate, who is just there when people need me without any worth or feelings or meaning. I constantly feel unloved and for once, I wish to be someone's priority to be vulnerable. I have never shared with anyone how I have felt because previously I had no one to share with, and now it is kind of a habit. A lot of it is about family or friends so I cannot share, and I feel uncomfortable sharing because I do not know if anyone even wants to know or hear. I do not think people care. I have major trust issues so I cannot share stuff; I attempted suicide twice seven to eight years back, and I clearly remember feeling all this. I have not felt like myself in years now, I am just constantly faking happiness, in fact, at this point, I do not know if something can even make me happy.

I also feel very worthless, like I am wasting my life, I am a failure. I do not feel comfortable and confident within myself including my body, my skin, and my face. All of this has been going on for three months now, and these symptoms have been on and off and recurring before, so it is like they have been going on for four to five years now. This is my first time discussing all of this, so I genuinely hope I get a proper, precise explanation as to what has been going on with me for years and how I can handle it. Kindly suggest.

Thank you.