How can I explain depression to my family at 22?

Question

Hello doctor,

I am 22 years old and was diagnosed with clinical depression about six months ago. I am currently taking Escitalopram 10 mg and attending CBT sessions every two weeks. The treatment has helped to some extent; my PHQ-9 score has improved from 19 to 12 in my last assessment.

However, my biggest challenge right now is not just the depression itself, but feeling misunderstood by my family and close friends. They often say things like “just think positive” or “you have everything, why are you sad,” which makes me feel even more isolated.

My therapist suggested that I try explaining my condition to them, but I am not sure how to make someone understand depression if they have never experienced it. Please tell me the following:

How do other patients usually explain this to their loved ones?
Is there a way to help them understand without it turning into an argument every time?

Please suggest.

Thank you.

Answer 1

Hello,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I understand how difficult and isolating this situation can feel, especially when the people closest to you do not fully understand what you are going through.

You are already taking important steps, continuing your medication and attending CBT sessions (cognitive behavioral therapy is a type of talk therapy that helps you understand how your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are connected), and the improvement in your PHQ-9 (a screening tool for depression) score shows that your efforts are making a difference.

However, emotional support from family and friends is equally important, and it can be frustrating when their responses feel dismissive.

It is often hard for people who have never experienced mental health struggles to truly understand depression. Their comments usually come from a lack of awareness, not from a lack of care. They may want to help, but simply do not know how.

Instead of trying to explain everything on your own, you could consider involving a close family member in one of your therapy sessions. This can help them better understand your condition from a professional perspective and reduce misunderstandings.

At the same time, focus on your own healing. Give yourself permission to prioritize your recovery rather than feeling the need to justify your feelings to others.

I hope this helps.

Please revert in case of further queries.

Thank you.