How to fix hypoactive sexual desire disorder?

Question

Hi doctor,

I am a 37-year-old. 95 kg is my weight. My wife is 30. We have been married for six years. Our sexual life ended up with entering two fingers into her vagina. Not much progress from there. We have gone to several doctors, and I have done a semen test as per advice. The report was good, according to the doctor. But after that, I am advised to take some gel regarding sex, vitamin tablet, or advised to do sex under dim blue light, which is not working for us. My wife is not yet ready to do any tests, but from the very beginning, she is not very good at sex as she depends entirely on my action. As this is my first time, I cannot self-stimulate myself and get tensed. She never tries to make her attractive to me or do a few naughty acts to stimulate me. But when I see her, it seems she is not even enjoying a little bit. She even does not spread her legs with ease. So I get frustrated and demoralized. Only a few minutes of fingering is what I have to do. After that, she blamed me for not getting satisfied. For six years, I never penetrated her for once. To test me, when I see intense scenes, I feel it hard and good, but when it comes to reality, I see my wife not even utter a naughty word or do any act to make me feel hot. Her point is that sex is one-sided, as a man can penetrate and give pleasure. A woman has nothing to do with it, as they can only provide a body, which makes the job harder for me. I love her more than anything else. We want to be parents. But I am now nervous and panicked. Lost all hope. Even I do not know what type of doctor can help me to get out of this great problem. Please help me with proper direction, help us to become a happy couple and happy parent. Thanking you all.

Answer 1

Hello,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I understand your concern.

I suggest,

1. Her mental happiness decides a women's interest in sex.

2. Attempt sex when she is happy and relaxed; never force her for sex.

3. Always talk about something arousing and sexually stimulating, like commenting on her body parts or anything which can stimulate her before attempting physical contact.

4. Try surprise sex, like when she least expects it, and change the location from the bedroom to the kitchen, hall, or even outside to spice up things.

5. Always talk to your partner about what she likes in sex, talk openly about what you also like, and encourage her to talk about her fantasy.

6. Sex should be slow and exciting, and make sure you do 20 minutes of foreplay till she is wet and you are hard.

7. Include dates, almonds, cashew, and badam in your diet for about four to five days; take bananas and dates one hour before sex; both husband and wife can take them.

8. Do certain exercises like gomukhasan, veerabhadra asan, and bhujangaasan daily, also abdominal plank and squats; watch on the internet how to do these; both partners can do it together,

9. It is a good idea to apply a lubricant over the penis tip and vagina to prevent pain and make sex smooth, KY gel (Glycerine) is a good lubricant.

I hope you find it helpful.

Thank you.