How does a cold oncologist impact an elderly cancer patient?

Question

Hello doctor,

My mother is 68 years old and undergoing lung cancer treatment. Medically, things are explained, but her oncologist seems very distant and rushed. There is no eye contact, minimal reassurance, and the focus is straight on reports.

Why does a cold oncologist concern a family caring for a 68-year-old cancer patient?
Does communication style affect patient outcomes or adherence to treatment?

My mother feels anxious and hesitant to ask doubts. Laboratory test results show stable disease, but emotionally, she seems withdrawn. Should we look for a second opinion mainly for comfort and clarity, or is this normal behavior in busy cancer centers?

Kindly help.

Answer 1

Hello,

Welcome back to icliniq.com.

I read your query and understood your concern.

When someone in the family is going through cancer treatment, the way the doctor communicates becomes very important, not just the medicines or reports. Your mother’s reaction is quite natural in this situation.

A doctor who appears distant or rushed can unintentionally make the patient feel unsure or hesitant. Because of this, patients may not ask questions, may hide symptoms, or may not fully understand the treatment plan.

This does not change the disease itself, but it can affect how confidently and consistently the treatment is followed. In practice, it is seen that patients who feel comfortable with their doctor tend to cope better and report problems earlier.

In busy cancer centres, this kind of interaction is unfortunately quite common. Doctors often have a very high patient load, and consultations become focused on reports and decisions. But from a patient’s side, especially for someone your mother’s age, emotional reassurance and simple eye contact can make a big difference.

The fact that your mother is becoming anxious and withdrawn, even though the disease is stable, is something that should not be ignored. Emotional well-being is an important part of cancer care. If she is holding back her doubts, it can slowly affect her confidence and overall recovery journey.

Taking a second opinion in this situation is absolutely reasonable, even if the treatment plan is correct. Sometimes families seek another opinion mainly to feel heard and to get clarity, and there is nothing wrong with that. You can also try one practical step. Before the next visit, write down her questions and have a family member speak on her behalf if she feels hesitant.

What matters most is that your mother feels comfortable enough to express herself and trust the process. If that comfort is missing, it is okay to look for a setup where communication is better.

I hope you are satisfied with my answer. For further queries, you can consult me at iCliniq.

Thank you.