How to manage difficulty reaching orgasm?

Question

Hi doctor,

I am a 28-year-old woman, and I have a problem with reaching orgasm. I think I am afraid of it because every time I am about to reach it, my brain creates anxiety, and it stops me. I have only reached orgasm twice with my boyfriend. Why is this happening to me?

Thanks.

Answer 1

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I understand your concern.

Orgasm is the most intensely pleasurable moment a person can have. It occurs when you reach the peak of excitement and arousal and the body and the mind suddenly go free and release that sexual tension instantly. In those moments, our mind pauses thinking and loses contact with the world. Thats the prerequisite of having an orgasm and that makes it feel so heavenly. But for some people the mere thought of losing control over mind and body even for a moment makes them feel scared. They believe they need to have conscious control over the mind even in moments of orgasm. That fear of losing control inhibits them from having an orgasm. Control by default inhibits pleasure. Our conscious mind always wants to have control over itself and the body except for two situations: one is sleep and another is orgasm. You can not sleep if the conscious mind is holding onto the senses.

Similarly, you cannot have an orgasm if your conscious mind is keeping watch over you. It is right to lose control sometimes to feel good. It is normal and necessary to lose control during orgasm.

I hope this information will help you.

Thanks.