What Is Covert Narcissism?
An individual suffering from covert narcissism portrays similar symptoms to that of an individual suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder (or NPD). However, the symptoms displayed are not as grand or are not of the level of grandiose sense of self-importance. Individuals showing signs of covert narcissism are often referred to as shy or modest; hence the disorder is also termed quiet narcissism.
Before understanding covert narcissism further, we need to focus on narcissists first. A narcissist is someone who is suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder. It is a type of personality disorder wherein an individual shows an increased sense of self-importance and considers themselves to be high and almighty. Individual suffering has troubled relationships as they consider themselves to be the only one in the relationship and requires constant attention and admiration from others. The identifying feature of the disorder is a lack of empathy in the individuals, which sours any relationship they indulge in.
According to the fifth edition of the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (DSM-V), covert narcissism is lesser-known than narcissistic personality disorder as there is a larger group of individuals suffering from narcissistic personality disorder than from covert narcissism. Individuals illustrating symptoms of covert narcissism do not have a stable sense of self or have extremely high or low self-esteem. The individual also lacks a sense of healthy confidence in oneself. This is the proven reason behind their desperation for admiration. Individuals suffering also have the capability to manipulate someone in order for them to gain validation.
Gaslighting is a toxic personality trait commonly displayed by individuals suffering from covert narcissism. Gaslighting is when an individual emotionally abuses another individual (victim). This abuse can be in the form of misleading the victim, or falsely leading the victim in the wrong direction, making the victim self-doubt. This self-doubt, in case of constant gaslighting, can lead to confusion in victims about their reality, surroundings, and environment.
Individuals suffering from covert narcissism often do not agree to visit a healthcare professional, and in cases where they do visit, they do not necessarily agree with their diagnosis as to them covert narcissism is not a mental condition but rather just their personality trait or their way of living life. Narcissists show highly functional capabilities with high regard for themselves and no or a minimum level of empathy towards others. These are some of the flag features of being a covert narcissist; as the general population might look at these features as critical symptoms, the individual suffering might not look at them as symptoms, just as quirks.
What Are Causes of Covert Narcissism?
The cause of covert narcissism is multifactorial. Covert narcissism can be caused either due to one component or an amalgamation of the factors. Some of the probable causes of covert narcissism are:
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Genetic predisposition.
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Positive familial history.
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History of childhood trauma (including physical, verbal, sexual, and emotional trauma).
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Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
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Self-esteem (extreme levels, either high or low).
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An excessive amount of attention in childhood.
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Anger management issues.
What Are the Symptoms of Covert Narcissism?
Covert narcissism presents itself with multifaceted symptoms. A covert narcissist might present with all the symptoms, or a bunch, or with just one symptom. Symptoms of covert narcissism often overlap with the symptoms of other mental disorders; some may even appear similar; however, the peculiar feature of covert narcissism remains; it is a shy form of narcissistic personality disorder. Hence, the symptoms are mild or quiet. Symptoms of covert narcissism are:
- Often indulges in storytelling (fake).
- Individuals behave in a passive-aggressive manner.
- Shows no empathy towards others.
- Splashes a wide array of non-respective or regulatory activities such as rolling eyes, sighing out loud (in the middle of the conversation), making noises (to gain attention), or disrespecting the recipient in the conversation (by yawning or showing no interest in the conversation).
- Inflated ego.
- Constantly play the victim card (in order to receive attention).
- Poor judge of situations.
- Low capability to deal with stress, tension, or trauma-induced stressful situations.
- Anger management issues.
- Co-jointly suffers from mood issues (mood disorders), and other mental illnesses (such as depression, or anxiety disorders)
- Manipulative behavior.
- Often takes offense when insulted (fragile ego).
- Portrays toxic traits such as gaslighting and lashing out at others.
- Needs constant admiration and validation.
- Easily influence others.
- Jealous and envious nature.
What Is the Difference Between Covert and Overt Narcissism?
A narcissistic personality disorder is divided into two main types, covert narcissism and overt narcissism. When explaining the difference in layman's terms, covert narcissism is also known as introvert narcissism or shy narcissism as the individual does have similar symptoms to that of a narcissistic personality disorder, but in a shy, quiet way; hence, another name given to it is closet narcissistic. Overt narcissism, on the other hand, is known as extroverted narcissism, as the individual portrays symptoms outwardly or loudly.
Overt Narcissism- Individuals showing signs and symptoms of overt narcissism are loud, often the center of attention (they require constant attention), extrovert by personality, charming by nature (comes in handy while manipulating others), charismatic if not playing the victim card (in order to receive care, attention). They show aggression (in an outward manner), have anger management issues, and are a proven bully to others (due to lack of empathy). The chances of these individuals turning aggressive and violent are extremely high. An individual with overt narcissism has an extremely high level of self-esteem that has turned into an ego.
Lastly, an important difference is that individuals suffering from overt narcissism are not usually an affair of their symptoms or change in their behavior.
Covert Narcissism- Distinguishable feature of covert narcissism is that the individual is often shy and quiet and does show potent narcissistic behavioral activities but in a milder way. Have inner struggles, show similar symptoms but in an internal manner, most commonly, the individual suffers from depression (or episodes of clinical depression). Even with narcissistic symptoms, displayed individuals have a very low level of self-esteem which requires them to be in a deep constant need of validation from others.
The flagged feature of covert narcissism is the realization the individual has of their symptoms, and they might show some level of empathy towards others (even though for a limited time).
Other names of overt and covert narcissism are grandiose narcissism and vulnerable narcissism, respectively.
Conclusion:
Covert narcissism is a mild, shy, and subtle form of narcissistic personality disorder. The features of covert narcissism are noticeable even though subtle. Special attention should be given to individuals portraying signs of covert narcissism, as it is not as loud as other forms of narcissistic personality disorder, such as overt narcissism, and hence it is harder to diagnose. Since narcissism is often not considered an issue to the ones suffering, asking for help and getting help is similarly more troublesome.
Talking to a licensed therapist helps an individual come out of their inflated ego shell and helps them to understand the basics of their conditions. Individuals suffering from covert narcissism have difficulty maintaining a long-term relationship as their constant need for attention and shy nature makes it harder for them to accept and express their feelings. Similarly, being in a relationship with someone suffering from covert narcissism can be difficult as the individual might have trouble understanding the condition since the individual suffering does not consider it a condition.
The initial step to better oneself suffering from covert narcissism is to recognize and accept the signs and symptoms. Then visit a licensed mental health professional in order to get help. This step can be tricky as it takes effort, recognition, willpower, and the need to ask and receive the help much needed.
