How to support a child coping with a parent’s lung cancer?

Question

Hi doctor,

My husband is 65 and was recently diagnosed with advanced lung cancer. Our youngest child is only 11 years old and has become very withdrawn and quiet ever since finding out.

What kind of emotional support helps a child cope when a 65-year-old parent is battling lung cancer?
Should we be taking her to a therapist or counselor immediately?

We do not want her to bottle everything up inside, but we also do not know how much information is appropriate to share with her at this age.

Please help us understand how to handle this delicate situation.

Thank you.

Answer 1

Hello,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I am deeply concerned about your worries.

I hope you are well, and I wish your husband a speedy recovery regarding his lung cancer. I want to reassure you that there are many medications now available for lung cancer that can control the tumor very well, and patients can live on these treatments for ten or even twenty years without major problems.

We also have cases that lived more than sixteen years with stage four lung cancer, so currently, there are very good treatments.

Options for his condition are:

If his general condition is good, they can start with chemotherapy or radiation therapy and assess the response.
If his general condition is not good, they may rely on targeted therapy or immunotherapy according to his genomic test results.

As for your son, who is eleven years old, this is a difficult age to hide things because he is aware and will notice that his father is sick and receiving treatment. He may see the side effects, especially with chemotherapy, and notice the temporary deterioration, but the child does not understand that it is temporary.

So it is important to sit with him calmly and explain that his father is sick and will be taking treatment, which may be difficult for a while. But he will improve and return to normal, especially if chemotherapy is used.

However, if targeted therapy is started directly, it usually does not cause severe side effects, so the child may not notice a major problem. I also advise you to join an online support group where you will find people in similar situations who can guide you on how to care for your husband and how to explain things to your children.

You also need psychological and emotional support, and you may consider consulting a psychiatrist to help the child understand if you find it difficult to communicate this information. I hope this is clear, and if you need any clarification at any time, do not hesitate

I hope this helps.

Do follow up whenever needed.

Let me know if I can assist you further.

Thank you.