Why does a 32-year-old woman panic about getting infected?

Hello doctor,

I am 32, have been married for eight years, and have no kids. Twelve years ago, I got a viral eye infection that lasted for a month. After almost six months, I suffered from dry eyes. I am so very skeptical of anything and everything. I cannot sleep in anyone's bed besides my own, even on the train. I bring my pillow and bedsheet. This went on for three years. Then again, out of nowhere, I was reading online about the herpes simplex virus, and since then, I have been panicking about that.

You will not believe it, but I refrain from kissing my husband because my husband drinks water from restaurant tumblers. I do not drink water from anyone's bottle, not even if I am so thirsty. I wait until I can purchase a water bottle (even if my family members share it, like my husband, mom, dad, and brother). I do not allow anyone to touch my tumbler. I drink and keep it separately. If someone visits our house, I clean all the surfaces they touched, including the sofa, with a wet wipe after they leave.

Because of this issue, once, I got an allergy to toothpaste and panicked, and from that day on, I did not brush, which caused me to have gum problems and tartar. About six months ago, I visited my local dentist, a calm and amazing person, and began cleaning. Still, after one session, during the second session, the nurse accidentally opened the instruments even before the dentist started the process. Hence, I panicked, left the procedure abruptly, and came back.

Recently, I went to a dental practice, which reassured me, showed me everything about how they practice cross-infection control, and told me to trust them. I wanted to trust them, but I am unable to do so. Yesterday, the dentist told me I had to start the cleaning as soon as possible, as my teeth and gums were miserable. So, it began.

I noticed keenly what the doctor and nurse were doing, but I cannot remember whether the doctor used sterile equipment to clean my teeth. My husband was there with me, and he kept reassuring me that they did use sterile instruments from the pouch. Because of my fear, I think my husband was telling all this to pacify my mind, but he did not notice it, and there was something wrong.

I have gone to consult a dentist who told me to take some medication. I took it for six months, but I did not feel better. Please help me. I want to believe the dentist, but I cannot.

1. I am so afraid. How to believe them?

2. I want to use logic and believe them, but my fear keeps getting in. How can I overcome this?

Please suggest.

Thank you.

Hello doctor,

Can you please give me some advice regarding my fear of herpes? When I read online, I saw a list of many doctors. Each of them tells a different story. Some say that the virus does not live on outside surfaces for a long time since this virus is very fragile; it dies within minutes after outside exposure, and some say that it is alive for hours outside the body.

Now, because of this ongoing confusion, whenever I visit dentists, even though I know they follow cross-infection control protocols, my mind fills up with negative thoughts about how the doctors will be deliberately lying to me to hide.

For instance, the dentist who I visited was registered with many good certificates and had reports until last year that mentioned that all the inspection points had been adhered to.

Despite knowing all of this, I still feel anxious. I keep thinking that during my last visit, some instruments may not have been properly cleaned and were used as they were.

1. Do you have any insights about this herpes virus?

2. How is it transmitted, and how long can it survive on dental equipment?

Please suggest.

Thank you.