How does a 41-year-old with ADHD manage RSD?

Question

Hello doctor,

I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. While medication has helped with focus, I still struggle with something that affects me emotionally.

At work, if a manager gives me criticism or if a coworker does not respond to my messages, I immediately feel rejected and start overthinking everything. Even small situations can leave me upset for days. I experience very strong emotional pain or distress when feeling rejected or criticized.

How does a 41-year-old with ADHD manage RSD (rejection-sensitive dysphoria) after perceived rejection at work?
Are there practical ways to stop taking every comment so personally?

Please help.

Thank you.

Answer 1

Hello,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I have gone through your query and understand your concern.

I can understand it must have been very difficult for you. It is truly difficult to manage long-standing feelings of insecurity.

You need a thorough evaluation, as it seems to me to be a personality trait or personality disorder (a psychological disorder marked by persistent, inflexible, and maladaptive thinking, emotional, and behavioral patterns).

There is an anxious avoidant personality disorder in which there are deep feelings of incompetence and rejection. So, whenever someone makes a harsh comment, it triggers those deep insecurities.

Similarly, it can be due to a depressive disorder as well if it started later. It is less likely due to ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, a neurodevelopmental disorder).

A better way to manage it is by writing down all the thoughts that come into your mind. Write down every thought, even if it is distressing, at a particular time of the day. Similarly, write down what the evidence is for that thought and what the evidence is against it. Thoroughly examine your thoughts.

Analyze your thoughts just like a police officer, and do it on a daily basis.

There is a self-help-based CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) program. You can easily search for it online and learn it. It takes time, but it is effective, and you will start experiencing improvement.

I hope I have answered your question.

Let me know if I can assist you further.

Thank you.