I am not on any medicicnes but yes I have tried before. I am very active, successful and driven. My world is just a dark place and I really do not know why. There is no reason for it to be, but it just is. It has gotten worse over the years and now I cannot deal with the anxiety, I cannot deal with the lows and I contemplate leaving away for good so many times.
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I am sorry to hear about this, I can understand how hard it is for you right now. Personal beliefs and thoughts are formed through our experiences, social background, parenting and family structure., during our childhood. As you have mentioned, that you have always felt this way, this means there are subconscious thought patterns, called cognitive distortions in technical terms which are faulty and dysfuctional and are clouding your thinking. I would suggest you to start Psychotherapy.
There are various techniques through which these fixed beliefs can be brought to conscious understanding and then changed and learn to cope up with. Then work is done to find out where and when in your past experiences you picked up these beliefs and you can remove your emotional blocks away and get past these. Sometimes high functioning depression or anxiety presents like this. Please do not delay, this can be resolved and there is hope. Take care of yourself.
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