Q. Why am I having fear of talking to people due to difficult childhood?

Answered by
Dr. Aneel Kumar
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
This is a premium question & answer published on Dec 18, 2018

Hi doctor,

I am a 45-year-old male, the youngest of my other five siblings. All through my childhood years up to the age of 20, my parents and other four of my siblings were exposed to a very angry behavior of my elder brother, the oldest of my siblings. The age gap between him and me is 15 years difference. For all I could remember is that almost every day this brother would punch my sister (who is three years younger than him) in the face, pull her hair and drag her across the room just because of talking and laughing at home and for his sake when we were at home no one is to talk or laugh in the house. I used to come from school and hide under a sofa untill my mom got home from work.

When I got to the age of 20, it was this time that my parents convinced him to get a shock therapy and was given medication for his schizophrenic behavior but after some months he refused to take any medication saying that he is not a sick person. Eventually, my parents convinced him to stay at our native place house where he still resides alone. As a result of this trauma and my silent behavior, I became an easy target to bullies in the school and my surrounding neighborhood areas. I had contemplated suicide sometimes. My sisters (three) are now all married and settled.This experience has affected me and my sister (who is six years older to me) the most as we were very young compared to the other siblings at the time of this trauma. Both of us experienced the same ridicule and sometimes our heads used to jerk suddenly for which we could not control. Now we have overcome this head jerk nervous condition after many years.

The ages of my siblings now, in the order of seniority which is 60 years, brother with mental illness, 59 years, sister, 57 years, sister, 54 years, brother, 51 years, sister, 45 years, myself. Please advise on my condition so I may lead the remainder of my life as normal as possible.



Welcome to

After I read your history that you had a very difficult past, for your brother who is schizophrenic patient, who need proper treatment and if unable to manage, he needs institutional care. As far as your history is concerned which shows depression and anxiety, can you mention that what are the current issues? Do depression and anxiety occur nowadays? How is your sleep, appetite, mood, any addiction history?

Thank you doctor,

The head jerks or tremors have ceased. My sleep is proper. My appetite is well. My moods are often of anger that if I was not exposed to violence and hide under a sofa, I would not have fear of making friends and conversing with people. I find difficulty communicating verbally with people. I do not have any addiction. I have been a caregiver to my paralysed mom where I do not get any sort of relief from any of my siblings (I prepare my mom's meals, sponge bathe, etc.).



Welcome back to

In your case, depression, anxiety and anger issues are inevitable, you should be on medications to treat your depression and you need regular counseling sessions. Accept the things as they are because we cannot go back to change the time and we do not have control over the future. These are uncontrollable variable in our life, we cannot do anything in this regard rather what we can do is live for the moment and to find the healthy way out for a better life, get yourself busy, find the way to earn, spend time with your friend, ventilate your stress with someone whom you trust and go for a walk daily.

The Probable causes:

Multiple life events.

Investigations to be done:

Currently no any.

Differential diagnosis:

Adjustment disorder, anger issues.

Probable diagnosis:


Treatment plan:

Tablet Escitalopram 10 mg at night daily, tablet Topiramate 25 mg at night for two days then twice a day (report if you have any skin allergy).

Preventive measures:

If you have suicidal thoughts or severe depression, kindly visit the nearby psychiatrist.

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