Is it fine for a man to be attracted to a transsexual woman?

Question

Hello doctor,

I am a 40-year-old guy and have been married for the past 15 years. I consider myself heterosexual and never had any thoughts or fantasies about guys or men. A few years ago, I ran across a transsexual video and was very much fascinated and aroused by what I saw. I started having fantasies about being with a transsexual woman, and things that were kept under the fantasy thoughts for a while. A couple of years ago, I was traveling, and one night I went to a transsexual bar and hooked up with one of the girls. Later that night, we had sexual intercourse (it was the first time I had done something like that). Since then, I have been engaged with two more transsexuals in full intimate relationships, and I was starting to question whether I am 'sexually' normal. I am not attracted to men and have a normal sexual relationship with my wife, but deep inside, I cannot resist my passion for those transsexual ladies.

Can you please help me understand why I am feeling that attraction and whether it is sexually a normal feeling? Is it ever going to go away?

Thank you.

Answer 1

Hello,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

The first thing I like to tell you is that, from the medical perspective, this is normal, but if we look from the cultural and religious angle, it has a different meaning for everyone. Visiting a transexual bar or engaging in such activity does not make you homosexual and can occur for any man or woman. I can say that you are a heterosexual man with few components of bisexuality. On a continuum of heterosexual to homosexual orientation, your position lies slightly far away from the heterosexual end.

Regarding your question about whether it will go, in my view, it entirely depends on you. If you are comfortable with these feelings and do not create any problems in your personal life (including sexual life), there is no need to intervene. However, if you are not comfortable with it, you can take professional medical help to learn how to channel these thoughts in the right direction. I can assure you that with proper guidance, you will be able to escape the fear and shame associated with your trans-gender thoughts.

Thank you.