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Q. How to affirm that my husband suffers from sex issue?

Answered by
Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
This is a premium question & answer published on Jul 18, 2016 and last reviewed on: Jun 03, 2020

Hi doctor,

This is regarding the personal health of my husband. I am suffering from a very bad sex life due to very low sex interest of my husband. To tell about the past, we had a long courtship period of 1-1/2 years in which I was able to understand from his conversations that he has very low interest in sex. I ignored that and got married to him. Right after our marriage, we had sex daily and then it started reducing gradually. The frequency fell drastically from having sex once in a week to once in 15 days. Whenever I tried to initiate or have a word with him about it, he said that a man needs to be very free to have sex and busy people generally have low sexual engagements. I know that it is not true and I believe that he gives some excuse to his own weakness. Now, at the end of one year of our marriage, the sex has reduced to once in a month. So, you can understand the level of frustration I have landed into, which is severely affecting my own personal health and interest in staying with him.

He hardly gets aroused once in many days and does not react sexually even after I make advancements. He does not react, does not understand and most importantly, not able to enter me without putting a condom. He says he gets support with the condom. So, the second issue you can understand is that with that condom I cannot conceive also.

He has very low interest in anything related to sex and he is not able to enter me properly as he says it hurts him. Otherwise, he is such a loving husband and its tough for me to believe that he does not want to make love to his wife for any other reason. I would like to tell you that he does not have a separate skin from the shaft, it rather covers the shaft and that pretty much indicates he even masturbates very less. Could you please help me? Could you please tell me if this is normal with some men? Does the case of my husband look abnormal? What are the tests that he must get done to affirm that he suffers from sex issues or low testosterone? What line of treatment should I take him to? Thanks in advance. Please help me as this is ruining my personal health and would probably push our marriage to the end of divorce as my family knows about it now and does not want me to stay in a marriage with a man who cannot keep me physically happy and still not accept he has some issues. Thank you so much.

Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary

Andrology Geriatrics Psychiatry Psychologist/ Counsellor Psychotherapy Sexology
#

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I read your query and understand your concerns.

  • Despite having low sex drive is normal for some men, I do not think the behavior exhibited by your husband falls in the normal range.
  • It is possible that he has some fears related to sexuality, which makes it difficult for him to perform sex without condom.
  • Regarding the tests, I feel it will be appropriate to go for following tests:
  1. Serum testosterone.
  2. Serum prolactin.
  3. Serum LH (luteinizing hormone).
  4. Serum FSH (follicle-stimulating hormone).
  5. T3, T4 and TSH (thyroid-stimulating hormone).
  • If there is any hormonal abnormality responsible for low sex drive, then it can be corrected by suitable treatment.
  • If low sex drive is related to his personality type, then it may be helped with appropriate psychotherapy.

For further information consult a sexologist online --> https://www.icliniq.com/ask-a-doctor-online/sexologist


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