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How to affirm that my husband suffers from sex issue?

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The following is an actual conversation between an iCliniq user and a doctor that has been reviewed and published as a Premium Q&A.

Answered by

Dr. Ashok Kumar

Medically reviewed by

iCliniq medical review team

Published At July 19, 2016
Reviewed AtMarch 15, 2024

Patient's Query

Hi doctor,

This is regarding the health of my husband. I am suffering from a very bad sex life due to the very low sex interest of my husband. To tell about the past, we had a long courtship period of one to two years in which I was able to understand from his conversations that he has very little interest in sex. I ignored that and got married to him. Right after our marriage, we had sex daily and then it started reducing gradually. The frequency fell drastically from having sex once a week to once in 15 days. Whenever I tried to initiate or have a word with him about it, he said that a man needs to be very free to have sex and busy people generally have low sexual engagements. I know that it is not true and I believe that he gives some excuse for his weakness. Now, at the end of one year of our marriage, the sex has reduced to once a month. So, you can understand the level of frustration I have landed into, which is severely affecting my health and interest in staying with him. He hardly gets aroused once in many days and does not react sexually even after I make advancements. He does not react, does not understand, and most importantly, is not able to enter me without putting on a condom. He says he gets support with the condom. So, the second issue you can understand is that with that condom I cannot conceive either. He has a very low interest in anything related to sex and he is not able to enter me properly as he says it hurts him. Otherwise, he is such a loving husband, and it is tough for me to believe that he does not want to make love to his wife for any other reason. I would like to tell you that he does not have a separate skin from the shaft, it rather covers the shaft, and that indicates he even masturbates less. Could you please help me? Could you please tell me if this is normal with some men? Does the case of my husband look abnormal? What are the tests that he must get done to affirm that he suffers from sex issues or low testosterone? What line of treatment should I take him to? Please help me as this is ruining my health and would probably push our marriage to the end of divorce my family knows about it now and does not want me to stay in a marriage with a man who cannot keep me physically happy and still not accept he has some issues.

Kindly help.

Answered by Dr. Ashok Kumar

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I read your query and understand your concerns. Having a low sex drive is normal for some men. I do not think the behavior exhibited by your husband falls in the normal range. He may have some fears related to sexuality, which makes it difficult for him to perform sex without a condom. Regarding the tests, I feel it will be appropriate to go for the following tests:

  1. Serum testosterone.
  2. Serum prolactin.
  3. Serum LH (luteinizing hormone).
  4. Serum FSH (follicle-stimulating hormone).
  5. TSH (thyroid-stimulating hormone).

If there is any hormonal abnormality responsible for low sex drive, then it can be corrected by suitable treatment. If low sex drive is related to his personality type, then it may be helped with appropriate psychotherapy.

I hope this helps you.

Thank you.

Patient's Query

Hello doctor,

Thank you for your reply.

Answered by Dr. Ashok Kumar

Hello,

Welcome back to icliniq.com.

Thanks for writing back to me. Revert incase of further queries.

I hope this helps you. Thank you.

Same symptoms don't mean you have the same problem. Consult a doctor now!

Dr. Ashok Kumar
Dr. Ashok Kumar

Geriatrics

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