How to get over sexual abuse trauma?

Question

Hi doctor,

I want to understand if I have a mental illness. I had mental trauma when I was only five years old. I never told my parents until now. I was in high school when I realized that I was abused. I pitied myself but l already accepted it.

Now I have a boyfriend, we are still in the early stage and I got the courage to open up about my trauma to him for the first time since I realized what happened to me. And since then, I started overthinking about how messed up I am. I am worried that he might not accept me for what I am.

I am afraid that I am going to lose him just because I decided abruptly to open up about my trauma. I am starting to doubt myself if this courage will lead me to heartbreak. I asked him earlier if he accepts me and he said he cannot answer that because the issue was so sensitive.

Then I began overthinking again that eventually he will break up with me and then I am conditioning myself that it was fine, that maybe I was not really fit for a relationship.

Please help.

Answer 1

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I understand your concern.

Thank you for taking help from a psychiatrist. I can understand your situation and you have a traumatic childhood. It is fine that you opened up in front of your boyfriend. If he loves you then he will accept you as you are with your past.

Otherwise, stop overthinking. You will get someone much better than him. Just relax and concentrate on your present and future. Move on from your past trauma and do not open up in front of anyone in the future except the doctor.

Do not worry about your boyfriend. If he accepts you then good but if he does not continue a relationship with you then do not worry about him.

Do not keep crying about your traumatic childhood.
Be bold and confident.
You have not done anything wrong in your life. Do not be afraid of anyone.

I hope that you get your answer.

Please let me know if you want some help.

Thank you.