How to get over sexual abuse trauma?

Hi doctor,

I want to understand if I have a mental illness. I was sexually abused by my grandfather and two cousins when I was only five years old. I never told my parents until now. I was in high school when I realized that I was abused because I thought that it was a child's game. I pitied myself but l already accepted it. Now I have a boyfriend, we are still in the early stage and I got the courage to open up about my trauma to him for the first time since I realized what happened to me. And since then, I started overthinking about how messed up I am. I am worried that he might not accept me for what I am. I am afraid that I am going to lose him just because I decided abruptly to open up about my trauma. I am starting to doubt myself if this courage will lead me to heartbreak. I asked him earlier if he accepts me and he said he cannot answer that because the issue was so sensitive. Then I began overthinking again that eventually he will break up with me and then I am conditioning myself that it was fine, that maybe I was not really fit for a relationship because I was abused and no one will accept it.