How to overcome social anxiety and masturbation?

Question

Hello doctor,

I am so dumb. I know nothing. I do not have any skills, and I am clueless about what is happening in the world or around me. I am not good at studies, sports, or anything. When I am with some of my friends, they talk about various topics, and I stay silent because I do not know anything about what they are discussing. I am so introverted that I have no friends and cannot socialize with anyone. I am scared to talk to people and have socializing fears. Whenever I try to learn something new, I feel lazy or bored and give up. I am also addicted to masturbation and failed the 21-day challenge to quit it. I have no job, no experience, and only a high school education.

Why am I like this? I am trying to improve, but I keep failing. I also come from an abusive household where my dad either beats me, scolds me, or shouts at me, yet he is nice to others. This abusive behavior has made me aggressive and violent, with no mercy for anyone, and I feel like I am slowly turning to criminality and wrongdoings. I often feel like committing suicide to end all this. Kindly suggest how I can improve myself.

Answer 1

Hello,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I understand your concern.

I think that you are an introverted personality. It makes it difficult to communicate with new persons. You may like to live alone at home, rather than go to a party. You may like your own time, rather time spending time with friends or social gatherings. You may have a small circle of friends or limited friends, but they are all close to you. Because of your introverted nature, you may lack confidence and suffer from an inferiority complex. You must accept yourself and work on how you can improve yourself. You should try to follow the below healthy guidelines to build your confidence-

Exercises daily for 30 to 45 minutes like at least going for a walk. If possible join a gym or swim, it will build confidence in you.
Meditate for 20 minutes daily, just sit in one place in a comfortable position, and try to concentrate on your normal breathing, do not stop or force yourself to stop your thoughts, just let it be.
Eat healthy, home-cooked foods, and avoid junk foods.
Drink enough water.
Spend quality time with friends and family daily or do video calls if you are living away from your family.
Spend time on creative hobbies like reading good books, writing journals, painting, drawing, and learning new skills or language or musical instruments.
Take seven to eight hours of sleep daily.
Avoid tobacco, alcohol, or any substance abuse.
Live your life and do not just spend it.
Be bold and confident.

It is okay to do masturbation. Please do not force yourself to do it. It is an age-related hormonal desire. But do not watch porn and erotic videos. Suicide is not the solution to any problem. Try to work on your weaknesses. I hope this will help you. Please, let me know if you want some help.

Thank you.