How do I manage my frustration and become a calm parent?

Hello,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I understand your concern.

It takes a lot of courage to admit and take steps to make changes. It shows that you are concerned for your children and that you are a caring mother. What you described shows poor emotional dysregulation, possibly triggered by anger, continuous stress, and parenting pressure. As you are aware that your children are suffering, make a few rules for yourself. Move to another room when you get frustrated or when anger reaches seven out of 10, and if you feel you can hit your children physically, remove yourself from the room, not your kids.

A woman with three kids usually gets frustrated easily because of multiple problems, such as exhaustion, poor sleep, constant mother’s guilt, parenting problems, marital conflicts, financial stressors, psychosexual stressors, family conflicts, depression, anxiety, and hormonal changes. Therefore, there are multiple factors. Identify the cause and try to resolve the core issue.

Identify your triggering time, such as 11 a.m., and try to stay away from children at that time. Make them play or involve them in some activity. Learn deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation exercises. Instead of beating your children, use a consequence style. For example, if you beat your brother, you will sit here for half an hour. Remove rewards instead of shouting.

Always give one command at a time. Children do not listen when we talk too much. Therefore, ask them to play with a toy. Once they obey, then give the next one. If they behave well, praise them. That is how they will learn good behavior.

Ask your husband or other family members to stay with the kids for one to two hours while you spend your time, take a nap, or read something. Most of the time, adults displace their anger onto children when they are angry with other adults. Therefore, manage that issue.

If you have tried all of these and are still not able to manage your anger, then consult a psychiatrist for a detailed evaluation. If you can share all your issues here, such as low mood, anxiety symptoms, marital conflicts, or your own childhood traumas, please feel free to arrange a follow-up meeting.

I hope you are satisfied with my answer. For further queries, you can consult me at iCliniq.

Thank you.