Q. Is possessiveness a disease?

Answered by
Dr. Swarajit Narayan Ghosh
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
This is a premium question & answer published on Jun 28, 2016 and last reviewed on: May 19, 2020

Hi doctor,

I am too much possessive to all the one who I love. Because of that, I stressed a lot. Is possessiveness a disease? Please help me.  Do I need any treatment for this? Thank you.



Welcome to

  • The first step in feeling better is to acknowledge that there might be an unaddressed issue in your day-to-day life.
  • You have taken a courageous step in facing up to any perceived deficiencies that you feel you might have. Once acknowledged, any such issue can usually be effectively managed.
  • There would be two things to consider here. Your observation about your possessiveness and the contingent stress.
  • Possessiveness is not a disease, it could be a personality trait and your way of relating to others.
  • There could be several reasons for this tendency, some amongst which include your unique style of attachment with significant others, modulated by your early childhood experiences or perhaps the result of your being insecure about yourself and your interpersonal capabilities.
  • Stress, that results from your self-monitoring is the second factor that is causing you distress.
  • The solution is that the moot point is looking for a suitable solution. Your awareness of your tendency to be possessive could be looked upon as a stressor.
  • If you could view this tendency and the associated situational antecedents in an objective way, without giving into judgement or analysis, and just follow a three step process of: arising, acknowledging and letting go of the feeling of possessiveness, you might find the tendency waning over time.
  • Other elements of this approach include dialectics, which means that nothing in our lives is black and white and written in stone, and that two contradictory evaluations could be accurate reflections of any one causal event. This means that you can be possessive, but if you were to be mindful of it and try and not act on this feeling, you would still be fine.
  • Dealing with emotions or feelings calls for a three step process of,
  1. Acknowledging.
  2. Allowing.
  3. Understanding.
  • All of these are elements of what is known as self-validation.
  • Acknowledging implies that you simply acknowledge the presence of the emotion. So you could tell yourself I feel possessive and end it there without judging yourself.
  • Allowing simply means telling yourself something like it is fine for me to feel possessive. That does not mean liking the feeling or wanting it to persist, but just affirming that it is fine to feel this way.
  • Understanding, which means that you recognize that there are reasons for you to feel this way, some of which may currently be beyond your control.
  • There is evidence that acting on emotion strengthen the emotions, so the thought-behavior-emotion cycle of possessiveness gets deeply embedded.
  • Try one simple way out of this cycle. When you feel possessive and feel like acting out in the usual way, try to pause for a moment and do just the opposite thing. For example, if you feel like lashing out, do just the opposite like leaving the situation or acting civilly and politely.
  • To put all this in a nutshell, possessiveness is not a disease. And if you attempt to be mindful when the emotion arises and self validate that emotion without judging yourself or others, you might find that over time, your possessiveness lessens.

For further information consult a psychiatrist online -->

Was this answer helpful?


Same symptoms doesn’t mean you have the same problem. Consult a doctor now!

Related Questions:
Borderline Personality Disorder

.. disorder are very dramatic, impulsive, and emotionally unstable. They stand on the border between neurosis and psychosis .. ...   Read full

Stress-a barrier for brain development,is that true?

.. of stress in children does affect brain development. As the brain develops till the age of 18 years, stress can affect the development. Stress can, in general, affect the functioning of the body, hormonal balance, and immunity levels as well. If ...   Read full

Can stress and lack of sleep cause irregular beats in ECG?

.. beats are called premature ventricular complexes (PVCs) (attachment removed to protect patient identity). Normally heartbeat is caused by an electric current in microvolts. That current is generated in an area of the heart called the sinus node. T...   Read full

Also Read Answers From:

ideaComprehensive Medical Second Opinion.Submit your Case

Also Read

H3N2v Influenza - Treatment and Prevention
Management and prevention of an Influenza A virus variant include various treatment options and measures. The below arti...  Read more»
Flu A - Symptoms, Causes, Diagnosis, Treatment and Prevention
The flu, or influenza, is a contagious viral infection that attacks the respiratory system. Flu A and B viruses are resp...  Read more»
H3N2v Influenza: Symptoms, Diagnosis, and Treatment
The H3N2v is a non-human influenza virus seen in pigs and can cause human infection. To know more, read the article belo...  Read more»

Ask your health query to a doctor online?

Ask a Psychiatrist Now

* guaranteed answer within 4 hours.

Disclaimer: No content published on this website is intended to be a substitute for professional medical diagnosis, advice or treatment by a trained physician. Seek advice from your physician or other qualified healthcare providers with questions you may have regarding your symptoms and medical condition for a complete medical diagnosis. Do not delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice because of something you have read on this website. Read our Editorial Process to know how we create content for health articles and queries.