Q. Is possessiveness a disease?

Answered by
Dr. Swarajit Narayan Ghosh
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
This is a premium question & answer published on Jun 28, 2016 and last reviewed on: May 19, 2020

Hi doctor,

I am too much possessive to all the one who I love. Because of that, I stressed a lot. Is possessiveness a disease? Please help me.  Do I need any treatment for this? Thank you.

#

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

  • The first step in feeling better is to acknowledge that there might be an unaddressed issue in your day-to-day life.
  • You have taken a courageous step in facing up to any perceived deficiencies that you feel you might have. Once acknowledged, any such issue can usually be effectively managed.
  • There would be two things to consider here. Your observation about your possessiveness and the contingent stress.
  • Possessiveness is not a disease, it could be a personality trait and your way of relating to others.
  • There could be several reasons for this tendency, some amongst which include your unique style of attachment with significant others, modulated by your early childhood experiences or perhaps the result of your being insecure about yourself and your interpersonal capabilities.
  • Stress, that results from your self-monitoring is the second factor that is causing you distress.
  • The solution is that the moot point is looking for a suitable solution. Your awareness of your tendency to be possessive could be looked upon as a stressor.
  • If you could view this tendency and the associated situational antecedents in an objective way, without giving into judgement or analysis, and just follow a three step process of: arising, acknowledging and letting go of the feeling of possessiveness, you might find the tendency waning over time.
  • Being mindful of what is arising internally is an important element of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT).
  • Other elements of this approach include dialectics, which means that nothing in our lives is black and white and written in stone, and that two contradictory evaluations could be accurate reflections of any one causal event. This means that you can be possessive, but if you were to be mindful of it and try and not act on this feeling, you would still be fine.
  • Dealing with emotions or feelings calls for a three step process of,
  1. Acknowledging.
  2. Allowing. 
  3. Understanding.
  • All of these are elements of what is known as self-validation.
  • Acknowledging implies that you simply acknowledge the presence of the emotion. So you could tell yourself I feel possessive and end it there without judging yourself.
  • Allowing simply means telling yourself something like it is fine for me to feel possessive. That does not mean liking the feeling or wanting it to persist, but just affirming that it is fine to feel this way.
  • Understanding, which means that you recognize that there are reasons for you to feel this way, some of which may currently be beyond your control.
  • There is evidence that acting on emotion strengthen the emotions, so the thought-behavior-emotion cycle of possessiveness gets deeply embedded.
  • Try one simple way out of this cycle. When you feel possessive and feel like acting out in the usual way, try to pause for a moment and do just the opposite thing. For example, if you feel like lashing out, do just the opposite like leaving the situation or acting civilly and politely.
  • To put all this in a nutshell, possessiveness is not a disease. And if you attempt to be mindful when the emotion arises and self validate that emotion without judging yourself or others, you might find that over time, your possessiveness lessens.

For further information consult a psychiatrist online --> https://www.icliniq.com/ask-a-doctor-online/psychiatrist


Was this answer helpful?

 | 

 

This is an Ad. icliniq or icliniq doctors do not endorse the content in the ad.

Ask a QueryAsk a Query Consult by PhoneConsult by Phone Video ChatVideo Chat
Also Read Answers From:

Comprehensive Medical Second Opinion.Submit your Case

Related Questions & Answers


Does stress affect my menstrual bleeding?

Query: Hello doctor, I consulted with you the last time whether I can be pregnant as I had sex with my partner on the eighth day of my period and we used condoms as protection. You told that I would not get pregnant. Today I am on the fifth day of my period. On the first two days, the bleeding was no...  Read Full »

Is a desire to have a mental illness a disorder by itself?

Query: Hello doctor, I have something which affects me a lot. Basically, I desire to have a mental illness, I have been even faking certain symptoms. To be exact, I do actually have mental health problems, I am diagnosed with Asperger’s, bipolar disorder and OCD. However, I have a feeling I am not i...  Read Full »

Stress

Article Overview: Stress is the body’s normal response to any stimuli. It is the feeling of emotional or physical tension. Everybody gets stressed at some point in their life, which is rational and also helpful to perform under pressure. Read Article


Dr. Sneha Kannan
Psychiatrist

What Is Stress? Stress is the body’s normal response to any stimuli. It is the feeling of emotional or physical tension. Everybody gets stressed at some point in their life, which is rational and also helpful to perform under pressure. But, prolonged periods of stress is not good and might ha...  Read Article

Popular

Popular

Ask your health query to a doctor online?

Ask a Psychiatrist Now

* guaranteed answer within 4 hours.
Enter Your Health Query
You can upload files and images in the next step.

Fee:  

 


Disclaimer: All health Q&As published on this website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical diagnosis, advice or treatment by a trained physician. Seek the advice from your physician or other qualified health-care providers with questions you may have regarding your symptoms and medical condition for a complete medical diagnosis. Do not delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice because of something you have read on this website.