How can aggressive behavior in kids be handled?

Question

Hello doctor,

My 13 years old daughter is having some aggressive behavior. She often hurts herself cutting her hands with a razor. She also shows indifference towards any advice she gets. She only does what she wants despite talking to her multiple times.

Her father had passed away six years ago. She had been very tactful and hardworking in school even after the death of his father for two or three years. But now she changed totally. Her adolescence seems to go much farther than usual. The biggest problem now is that she does not care about any talk or warnings. She cuts her hands aggressively from time to time especially when her mom blames her for something she does. Her school grades and desire to learn had decreased. I would be grateful to know if we need to consult a psychiatrist or do something else.

Answer 1

Hello,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I think your daughter is struggling emotionally and is using self-harm as a maladaptive coping mechanism to deal with her difficult situation.

You are reporting that her performance at school has deteriorated in the past two to three years, and she is not able to take on board the family's advice.

Minor self-harming behavior is relatively common in teenagers, but significant self -harm happens in children exposed to adverse life events and struggling to manage their life's stressors.

How is she getting on with friends at school? Is her eating habits healthy? Is she sleeping well?

Is she able to enjoy anything? Does she express thoughts like being fed up with life?

As a parent, do you have any lighter moments with your daughter? Are all interactions leading to conflict?

Suggestions:

Your daughter will need understanding and support to get over this difficult period.

It can be stressful and frustrating for parents to deal with this situation. Try to be calm and avoid excessive criticism as it can be counter-productive.

Consult a psychiatrist in your city for a comprehensive assessment of her mental state. Some young people who self-harm may have conditions like depression, emotional dysregulation, or emerging personality difficulties, which need to be clarified and supported accordingly.

Your daughter will benefit from psychological therapy to help her manage her emotions and develop safer and positive coping strategies to deal with her distress. Sometimes medication will be needed as well.

It will take time and support to stop self -harming behavior gradually.

Answer 2

Hello Redouane Welcome back to icliniq - It is positive that your daughter is able to have a sort of normal interaction with her friends and peers. It would have been more worrying if she had shut out her friends as well. - Nevertheless, it looks like your daughter has underlying emotional conflicts driving her self-harming behaviour. It is quite common for young teenagers to show their angst towards parents & family. - Keep the communication open. Let her realise that you are always available for supporting her. Communication is the key in this sitution. - Talking and support can be misperceived as criticism by your daughter when she is already feeling distressed. Try not to take it personally if she responds in a rude and harsh manner - With appropriate support, she will learn to handle stressors in a safe manner . - Try to consult your GP/family doctor for advice regarding local psychiatrist support.

How can aggressive behavior in kids be handled?

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