No success in sex after 3 years into marriage. Please help.

Question

Hello doctor,

We have been married for three years but till now we did not have successful sex. When my husband tries to insert, I get so scared and never allowed him to penetrate. Even though we tried from different positions, it still does not work. He is very understanding. We only enjoy foreplay. Recently, I got to know I have septate hymen which can be 4 to 5 mm and I have heard with a septate hymen, intercourse is very painful and that makes me more scared. I want to enjoy sex and get pregnant as soon as possible. We both are very upset about this. Is there any medicine where there will be no pain during intercourse? Please help me. I am having a very bad time.

We had visited a sexologist. After consultation and some tests, he has given medicine for both of us. For me, it is two medicines - one for reducing anxiety (Bupron SR 150) and another one for making mood (Etilaam MD 0.5) and for my husband to increase testosterone level (testostone supplement) and Tadgo 10 mg (before intercourse) but till now it is not working at all. We are following this for 10 days. Also, my husband has severe pain in the lower body till feet after using Tadgo.

Now, he has suggested sex therapy, which we are not aware of that what exactly it is and how beneficial it is. Please let us know what should we do and suggest something which will solve our issues?

Summarizing my questions as follows:

Which medicine and gel which will reduce pain while intercourse?
What medicine to take which will arise sex drive in both of us?
How to increase testosterone level as my husband's erection is not lasting too long?
Some overview of sex therapy.
For my septate hymen, do I require any surgery?

Answer 1

Hello,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I have gone through your problem and understand your concern. The drugs you are currently taking is quite helpful in some cases and not in few cases. From the description provided, it appears that because of one or other reason you never actually allowed your husband to do penetrations, it may be possible that either you have vaginismus or afraid excessively of sex that it may be very painful. In reality, sex is not painful. So, during sex therapy, the couple is helped by explaining the details of anatomy and how you can enjoy normal sex without too much worry and sometimes with help of some models or technique described by Masters and Johnson.

Medicine or gel such as Lignocaine gel can be applied to the genitals, that reduces the pain sensation. Medicines other than what you are taking, like aphrodisiac or supplement such as Nanoleo total or Tetrafol plus, are helpful to some extent. Testosterone can be taken as a tablet or as an injection to increase its concentration by supplements.

If the septate hymen is too thick and does not allow either finger or any other objects then surgery is advised. There are few instruments available in different sizes, they are used to dilate vagina by inserting them in the vagina, beginning from small size to larger size, in step by step. You can consider them as well.

Feel free to ask if you have any questions.