I am 18 years old and I have been having big problems with making friends since I was 7. I go to school and I do not talk at all (only if someone or teacher asks me something). I just cannot find any topics to talk to people and the worst is that I do not know what should I say back when I somehow succeed in starting the conversation. Besides all my life I feel like I am the one that jumps around people and tries to talk to them and they just do not care so I quickly give up and end up alone.
And my house is so stressful too, it is so loud because my parents scream so much and I spend most of the time locked in my room because when I hear them screaming it feels so stressful (all this stress is like sitting on my back and I cannot make it stop). Is it even possible for me to make friends? It has been half a year since school started and everyone is occupied by their friends. How can I stop blushing when I am given too much attention? Is it possible that I have some kind of mental illness or maybe autism?