Q. Why am I getting negative thoughts repeatedly?

Answered by
Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
This is a premium question & answer published on Jul 21, 2018

Hi doctor,

I am a 28 year old male. I am married. I am under stress and depression. I got married under a forceful pressure from my mother, despite me telling her to postpone it for few years. As I was very obedient to her, I succumbed to her demand for marriage. After six months of my marriage, my wife was brainwashed by her mother to come back to her house and live with them. Only by that she can live a luxurious free life. I heard all these when she was talking over the phone. My wife agreed with her mother for all the plans to take me out of my home and go to her mother’s house. I thought, let me not talk openly about this and change her attitude patiently instead of being aggressive. Unfortunately, my wife’s brothers are living in their in-laws home. There are living an immoral life and now my wife wants the same trend. On the top of it, my mother’s behavior also changed and every time there is some fight between my mother and my wife. In the meantime. I know my wife like to have marital affairs. The dispute got worse where my in-laws keep telling my neighbors that I am torturing husband and all cheap accusations. They came to my house along with neighbors and I clearly got to know they want their daughter to come back and take care of them instead of my parents. My mother-in-law is not happy with her husband. At this age, she has extramarital affairs. All the unknown people come to her house in her husband’s absence. I got to know all these notorious after my marriage. People do say that she was a sex worker before her marriage, which is sadly true. She openly teaches my wife about pornography, watching all boys (that she regularly does) and all the shameless stuffs. I am good looking, appear very young, very smart and look very professional in my dress, outlook. Most of my neighbors are jealous of looking at me as well in professional look.When all these false accusations were made against me, I was silent and kept quiet but now I feel depressed and alone. I regret why I did not reply to them. I blame god, fate, my mother and everyone for all these. I feel like hearing those words of accusation in my ears. I regret why I could not reply to them. I regret why this type of notorious women came to life. I regret why I marry. I murmur to me as if I am replying to them of their accusations. I get angry frequently now and my mood changes frequently. One time I will blame with frustration to god and after sometime I feel let them learn a lesson.

I consulted a psychiatrist and he recommended Estomine SF once daily for three months. I took it for three months and I was fine. There were no negative thoughts and I started with normal life. I was happy with recovery. Now, I have stopped the medications. Already one month over. Again, same negative thoughts coming to my mind as usual. No control on my thoughts of blaming to all. I do not know what to do? My doctor said to change the lifestyle. He advised me to do meditation, as the tablets cannot help in the long run. I have lots to study for my IT exams in four months. I am unable to concentrate. Please advise. What is my condition? Why am I getting these negative thoughts over and over? Should I start taking tablets? Should I change the tablet? I like fitness and bodybuilding passionately. Should I join a gym? Should I also go for a some body massage to get relief as few websites do suggest for stress and depression relief?



Welcome to

I have read each word of your query with keen interest and understand your concerns.

  • First of all I like to inform you that there is ample evidence from the available history that you are suffering with depression.
  • It is a common condition which starts when we need to deal with something for which we are not prepared. In other words, the overwhelming stress of any kind can lead to depression and same is applicable in your case.
  • A single episode generally may last from four to nine months and I feel that you have same episode, which was earlier treated and was absent due to ongoing medication. Since you discontinued medication the symptoms of depression are obvious and there is again needed for treatment.
  • Getting negative thoughts are part of depression and very common phenomenon. In fact, in depression there is a negative cognitive triad consisting of negative of self, environment and world.
  • In your case you have all three reflected by blaming yourself, blaming your current condition, god, mother and all around you. The positive thing about it is that it helps in identifying depression. In addition, it responds well to treatment.
  • I think there is a definite need to start treatment. This need to be discussed in detail with your doctor in person.

For further information consult a psychiatrist online -->

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