Is my behavior changing due to depression?

Question

Hi doctor,

I am afraid of eye contact with people, which started a few months back. I cannot figure out how it first started, but just suddenly one day, I started to feel strange when I was facing people. I could be talking to them in a normal way, and then suddenly I would feel like I was strangely looking at them. The strangest thing is, this is not just my feeling; the other person can see the strange way I look at them.

I do not know exactly how my looking at them makes them feel, but I could notice a sudden change in their reaction towards me. They would strangely look at me as well, and then quickly finish the conversation and walk away. When I am facing customer service people, it is the same.

I feel like I cannot look at people in a normal way. I have received very bad service many times just because of my weird eye contact. And because this has happened so many times, I am getting more nervous when I have to face people now. I would be afraid that my way of looking at people would make them feel bad. But the more I am afraid that would happen, the worse I would be. I am not sure what the reason is for this happening to me.

Maybe it is a lack of confidence or nervousness, but I am not sure. This is a terrible condition that I am having, and it feels terrible that my strange way of looking at people makes them feel bad. And it also makes me feel so awful because people are treating me badly. And I am driving people away from me.

I am suffering from depression and schizophrenia. I am taking Aripiprazole, and all the symptoms are under control. Could this be part of schizophrenia? Can a higher dose of medication help?

I do not want to increase the dose of medication if possible. I am taking 10 mg of Aripiprazole every day at the moment. Before I go to sleep, I can imagine the way that I want myself to be. And if I continue to do this, after a while, I will become what I want myself to be.

I think this method might help me with this issue of eye contact. But I am not sure how I should do it. Should I just repeat the affirmation to myself? Affirmations like 'I am a friendly person,' 'people are nice to me,' etc. I am a friendly person inside, and it is just my strange way of looking at people, which I cannot control.

Should I imagine in my mind a scenario where I am facing a customer service person, and imagine that I am looking at him or her in a natural and normal way? Would this work?

Can you tell me how exactly I can do this?

Thank you.

Answer 1

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

You seem like an extremely pleasant person with a warm and friendly personality.

Here is what I would suggest:

Let us try biofeedback. I would suggest that every other day, you should try sitting in front of a full-size mirror for the exact amount of time you think it takes for you to make that strange eye contact. While you are staring in your own eyes, walk and talk to yourself.
I am not sure which department you work in, but you can use examples from real life. The key is the eye contact. You can always start from a shorter duration and then increase the duration if doing the entire session is not possible initially.
You can also record these sessions if you want, and discuss with your psychiatrist or therapist for further suggestions.

Let me know if I can be of further assistance.

For further queries consult an internal medicine physician online.

Answer 2

Hi,

Welcome back to icliniq.com.

I would suggest staring at yourself as an entire image and then in your eyes for some time before you start having the conversation. It is a positive response, and I am glad to know that you do not see that strange effect in your eyes for yourself. This could be a confidence-building exercise for you.
Yes, it is an excellent thought to use pictures, or rather, 3D images would be even better; that way, you will be able to overcome it even faster.
Please keep me posted about how you feel. If you have a psychologist or a counselor, they can also walk you through the process. There is no reason for you to shy away from yourself or your working environment.

For more information, consult an internal medicine physician online.

Thank you.