Q. What are the ways to control emotions?

Answered by
Dr. Ruhi Satija
and medically reviewed by Dr. Divya Banu M
This is a premium question & answer published on Aug 07, 2019

Hello doctor,

I am extremely emotional. I cannot control my feelings and always feel like a victim. How can I be more responsible and in control without constantly feeling hurt?

Dr. Ruhi Satija



Welcome to icliniq.com.

First of all, I appreciate you for your strength to be able to recognize your own nonhelpful thoughts and behavior. It takes a lot of courage. Self-victimization often is seen with people who have had a childhood in a nonnurturing or dysfunctional family. It can also be a part of a personality disorder, what you can do is find a therapist, a counselor and start taking sessions so you can work on your impulsivity and the therapist will further help you recognize your subconscious thought patterns leading you to behave and feel this way.

You can find a counselor in your city or there are many online sites providing the facility. If you cannot do that either, start with journaling, keep a mood journal and start writing what happened and what made you feel bad or when you reacted in a wrong way, what went through your mind. If you do this regularly, you will be able to recognize patterns in your behavior and situation which is your triggers, which you can avoid.

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Thank you doctor,

Thank you for your reply and lots of respect for what you do as well. How can I relax my emotions at any given moment, is there a certain technique to relieve pain or unwanted thoughts? Also, how can I react in a way which does not victimize me, what is a quick solution for my problem other than daily journaling because I have tried it before and unfortunately it seems as though it is somewhat inherited or out of my conscious control completely. Is there a way to treat it no matter how rooted it is? And are there any actions which I could immediately take whenever I feel intense emotions?

Dr. Ruhi Satija



Welcome back to icliniq.com.

Yes, you can try various relaxation techniques and deep breathing techniques to reduce stress and the negative feeling. Check out box breathing technique, progressive muscle relaxation. Also, you can try bullet journaling if conventional journaling did not benefit you. And yes every problem has a solution, and you will get better, it is only a matter of time and patience.

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