How to overcome erectile dysfunction in our relationship?

Q. Is erectile dysfunction and decreased libido due to a lack of attraction or can it be improved?

Answered by
Dr. Vedprakash Verma
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
This is a premium question & answer published on Feb 12, 2024

Hello doctor,

My boyfriend and I are facing a challenge regarding erectile dysfunction in our relationship. We have been together for five years, engaged for the last two years, and maintaining a long-distance relationship. We are both 30 years old and committed to a healthy lifestyle. Lately, my partner has been experiencing difficulty achieving and maintaining an erection. This issue has persisted for the past six months. He mentions having morning erections, but when we attempt sexual contact, he lacks excitement, and his erection either does not happen or diminishes almost immediately. He has also been dealing with tingling sensations in his legs for the past two years. His sexual desire has generally been moderate.

We have conducted blood tests that fall within normal ranges, and other medical assessments have yielded normal results, including a brain MRI to rule out neurological concerns, especially due to a close relative having multiple sclerosis. Despite these efforts, we are both committed to making our relationship work and are seeking guidance on whether this situation can be improved or if it indicates a lack of attraction. Please help.

Thank you.



Welcome to

It appears that the issue at hand is related to a low libido. Low libido can be influenced by various aspects of your health and life. To effectively address it, it is essential to identify potential contributing factors:

  1. Mental health: Anxiety and depression can significantly impact your mood and sexual desire. Stress, whether diagnosed or not, can also affect your libido.
  2. Aging: Hormonal changes that occur with aging can lead to a gradual decline in libido. For men, testosterone levels tend to decrease after the age of 30, potentially affecting sexual desire and erectile function. Women may experience changes in sexual interest and function after reaching menopause.
  3. Lifestyle factors: A sedentary lifestyle and obesity can contribute to lower libido in both men and women. Physical activity and body confidence play a role.
  4. Chronic health conditions: Certain medical conditions, such as heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure, can impact blood flow to the genital areas and lead to sexual problems. Prostate cancer treatment may result in erectile dysfunction, and hypoactive sexual desire disorder can affect women's sexual interest.
  5. Medications: Low sex drive is a common side effect of various medications, including some antidepressants, birth control pills, blood pressure medications, and antiepileptics.
  6. Relationship satisfaction: The quality of trust and intimacy in your relationship can influence your sexual desire. Relationship issues, whether real or perceived, can affect your enjoyment and desire for sex.

Enhancing your libido often involves making healthy lifestyle changes in different aspects of your life. Whether you are seeking ways to increase male libido or boost sex drive in women, the following tips may help:

  1. Exercise and physical fitness: Regular exercise and increased physical activity can positively impact your interest in sexual activity. It is linked to improved body image and sexual function for both men and women.
  2. Stress management: Managing stress is crucial for your health and sex life. Practices like mindfulness, meditation, stretching, yoga, and deep breathing can help. Maintaining open communication with loved ones or a therapist can also be beneficial.
  3. Intimacy and connection: Focusing on intimacy in your relationship can contribute to an increased desire for sex. Planning date nights, effective communication, and quality time outside the bedroom can improve your connection and sexual life.
  4. Sufficient sleep: Good-quality sleep can positively affect mood, mental health, and energy levels, leading to an increased sexual desire. Establishing consistent sleep patterns and creating an ideal sleep environment can help.
  5. Healthy diet: Your overall health is closely linked to your sex drive. A nutritious diet comprising vegetables, fruits, whole grains, healthy fats, and lean proteins can support your well-being and potentially prevent certain health issues.

For a temporary solution, I suggest you take medication Sildenafil 25 mg one hour before intercourse. Consult your specialist doctor talk to them and then take the medication.

Hope this information helps you.

Thank you.

Was this answer helpful?


Same symptoms doesn’t mean you have the same problem. Consult a doctor now!

Related Questions:
Erectile Dysfunction - Causes, Myths, and Facts

Erectile dysfunction can be due to physical and psychological factors ... Psychological Causes: Stress: An individual with high-stress levels may have relationship problems ... Erectile dysfunction causes a significant amount of stress, disturbing personal life and losing self-esteem .   Read full

What to overcome low libido and have good intimacy?

.. your query and understand your concern. Low libido has many reasons like diabetes, hypertension, hormonal disturbances, urine or pelvic infections, obesity, high cholesterol, anxiety, chronic diseases, and medications I would suggest you do the following investigations to find out the cause.   Read full

What are the ways to treat erectile dysfunction other than taking medications?

Herbal supplements like Yohimbine, Shilajit, and L-arginine also enhance libido and erection ...   Read full

Also Read Answers From:

ideaComprehensive Medical Second Opinion.Submit your Case

Also Read

Retinal Diseases in Children - A Complete Guide
Certain abnormalities can be present in the retina of some children. Continue reading to learn more about retinal diseases in children.  Read more»
Home Birth and Hospital Birth - Pros and Cons
The abstract provides an overview of the advantages and disadvantages of home birth and hospital birth.  Read more»
PCOS and Liver Problems
The hormonal imbalances in polycystic ovary syndrome could cause liver diseases. Read the article to know the relationship between these medical conditions.  Read more»

Ask your health query to a doctor online?

Ask a Sexologist Now

* guaranteed answer within 4 hours.

Disclaimer: No content published on this website is intended to be a substitute for professional medical diagnosis, advice or treatment by a trained physician. Seek advice from your physician or other qualified healthcare providers with questions you may have regarding your symptoms and medical condition for a complete medical diagnosis. Do not delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice because of something you have read on this website. Read our Editorial Process to know how we create content for health articles and queries.