How to overcome failure and social anxiety?

Question

Hi doctor,

I am a 20-year-old female currently studying in an institute. I have basically given up on everything. I do not feel like doing anything at all. I feel like hiding somewhere and just not having to do anything. I was determined to get into IIT and I had the potential to get through. I dropped a year and repeated the exam thinking the drop year would help me get into IIT. But, I did not do good enough and took whatever came next. I could not have gotten through this failure if I had not been so sure that I would get it through the second attempt, If the first guy I genuinely liked (my former competitor in school) had not gotten through on his first attempt and lastly my alcoholic father had not for over month told me that I was a failure just like him. I do not discuss technology in college. I do not talk about studies. I do not study till the last minute because I do not see my future currently. I do not know what to do after these four years of course. I am not interested in it anymore. I love dramatics and am a part of a club at university but in spite of being deeply interested in it, I cannot create opportunities for myself because I do not make friends and am really shy. I stay in a hostel and stay locked up in my room mostly when my only friend is not around. I have two close friends right now and absolutely zero social life because of social anxiety. Basically, nothing is going anywhere. But, I do not and would never consider suicide because I feel it is unfair to my mom and two or three people who genuinely care for me. Please help me.

Thank you.

Answer 1

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I understand you did not get what you wanted. It is hard to accept the fact and compromise with something when you know you were capable of getting better. But I want to tell you that everything is equally important in life and only one thing cannot define your whole life. I think you need some psychological counseling sessions. In childhood being grown up in a family where your father was an alcoholic and was not as supportive as he should be, your relationships and this IIT all these things are piling up inside you and creating a situation of conflict that needs resolution.

In my advice following a daily routine, yoga, meditation, deep breathing, and physical activities may not solve your whole issue. There is a need for a detailed assessment. You can visit a local psychiatrist or if you want my help I would be happy to help you.

Thank you.