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Q. Pain and discomfort during sex. And have burning sensation in vagina due to forceful trying.

Answered by
Dr. Ashok Kumar Choudhary
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
This is a premium question & answer published on Nov 18, 2017 and last reviewed on: Oct 09, 2018

Hello Doctor,I got married a couple of days back. When I tried to have sex during first night after some foreplay, I found my wife's vagina was having a small hole and my erected penis was not able to penetrate. When I tried a little forcefully, the front skin of my penis rolled back exposing the inner soft skin of my penis. It was painful at that moment but uncomfortable now. It became a little dry and occasionally I get itching sensation.

My wife is feeling a burning sensation in vagina due to forceful trying. Let me know how to prepare my penis and her vagina for sex. Our age is 29 years and 26 years respectively.

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#

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

From the available description it appears to be that both of you are first timers.

This kind of problem is commonly encountered because of lack of knowledge.

I advice you the following things from your next love making session:

  • Devote at least 30 minutes in foreplay. It may be in the form of fingering, kissing, caressing, etc. This will increase the excitement level for your partner. Elevation of the mood will thereby increase lubrication. This will allow proper penetration without any discomfort.
  • Use of lubrication cream or gel on the penis and vagina to reduce the pain and discomfort during penetration.
  • Never be forceful.
  • Allow more time and ask your partner to guide you.
  • With cooperation from both partners you will come to know better techniques suitable for both of you.
  • Regarding your penis, gently roll the skin to and fro repeatedly.
  • Keep the foreskin in original position before sex.
  • If you are not able to roll back the foreskin to the normal position or if it is painful then it has to be treated. There may be requirement to excise the excess skin working as a band over glans penis (head of the penis).

For further follow up,consult a sexologist online --> https://www.icliniq.com/ask-a-doctor-online/sexologist

Hello doctor,

Thank you. Your suggestion was very helpful for us. I tried to use condoms and gels also. Even after using, I found that her vaginal muscles contract during intercourse and does not allow my penis to enter her private part. At the maximum, I was able to do fingering. The opening was just enough to enter only one finger of mine into it. When I searched in the internet, I found the symptoms are similar to something called vaginismus. We both stay relaxed while having sex, even then this situation happens. Kindly advise me how to proceed and make the vaginal opening big enough to penetrate easily.

#

Hi, 

Welcome to icliniq.com.

Thanks for reverting back to me with a positive feedback.I agree with you that it might be vaginismus as it presents with contraction of outer third of vagina preventing penile penetration.Women with this condition can enjoy the foreplay and achieve orgasm.

I recommend you to be patient.

If she can do masturbation and enjoy the sexual act with you there is hope that everything will be all right with proper therapy.

Please note that cooperation of both the partners is required in the management of vaginismus and make sure that your wife is comfortable.

I recommend the following things:

  • Do sexual act with your wife without attempting intercourse. This will make things better and your wife will be able to rediscover her sexual needs at both conscious and sub conscious levels.
  • While fingering her, be as much soft as possible. First try little finger and gradually you can shift to middle finger and in course of time two fingers and three fingers.
  • Patience is very important and you need to bear with her. 
  • Ask her to masturbate with objects of her choice. Ask her to insert first small objects and then gradually size of objects can be increased. The same finger method she can also for herself.
  • Have enough time in foreplay. Extend it as long as you both are comfortable.
  • Never criticize her for her inability to dilate her vagina.

Do not worry about the size of the vaginal orifice.

It is the involuntary muscle contraction that is making things difficult.

Once she is able to manage this, you will have a fantastic sexual life. 

This is a kind of psychological problem and if persists, this condition may require psychotherapy or talk therapy.

Revert back to a sexologist online for further follow up --> https://www.icliniq.com/ask-a-doctor-online/sexologist


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