Q. Is my premature ejaculation occur due to fear or a lifelong problem?
Hello doctor,
I am a 34 year old unmarried male. I can hold my ejaculation during foreplay with my girlfriend, but I cannot even control it for more than 30 seconds after entering into the vagina. Is this a problem of lifelong PE? Or is it happening due to fear or performance anxiety? Once I used condom to get out of the fear, but the problem did not solve. I am going to marry soon. I have a strong fear that the problem will arise in marriage life. So, I am avoiding marriage. In my past, I had a habit of masturbation since the age of 14. Initially, two to three times daily and gradually the frequency reduced. But, I still masturbate. My semen comes out in a few seconds while watching porn. But, without watching porn I can control it for 4 to 5 minutes by the start-stop method. Once, I used Dapoxetine 30 mg on masturbation and it worked. But, when I used it for the second time with a sex worker, I did not get an erection and left disappointed. Also, I do not want to use medicines as it has a side effect of lowering sex drive. So, I could not understand my actual problem. Please clarify it.
Hi,
Welcome to icliniq.com.
I read your query and understand your concerns.
From the available description, it appears that there is a psychogenic premature ejaculation. Holding it for 30 minutes while having oral sex and not holding even for a few minutes during penetrative sex is clearly indicative of psychological premature ejaculation. There is no indication that you have a lifelong premature ejaculation. It is definitely treatable either with medication or psychotherapy. I understand your fear about medication, but there is no indication that it causes decrease in sex drive. In regard to other methods of treatment, Kegel exercise has the most value. Through Kegel exercise try to hold ejaculation up to 15 seconds initially and increase by 1 or 2 seconds per day. The results may take time, but there will be a definite improvement.
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