My husband forces me to carry him daily. How to manage him?
Patient's Query
Thank you doctor,
My husband insists me to lift and carry him every day. Though I am a little stronger than him, I told imperatives by doing that. But, still he is insisting to carry him. He is referring to recent movies where heroines easily carry heroes. He is eating less food to ensure that I can lift him easily. He does not have much health issues also. Please suggest what to do.
Hi,
Welcome to icliniq.com.
Tell your husband that it hurts your back when you lift. Please say that you will not be able to do anything if your back gets affected, neither housework nor being intimate. Also, you will face problem later during pregnancy. Explain that, in movies it is just one shot where maybe they will carry and mostly it is camera trick. Instead, say you will do some small things for him, like have a date night at home or watch a movie together or something that both of you will love. If you explain all the above when he is in a good mood, definitely he will understand at least the health related issues.
Patient's Query
Thank you doctor,
I appreciate your response. I have tried my level best till now by explaining all these. He is absolutely a great husband in all other aspects, except this. Initially he used to insist for shoulder lift, but now he is asking for a cradle carry claiming he understood my pain to some extent. I have been asking him to consult a psychiatrist, but he is not willing to do so. Once when I denied lifting him, he did not hesitate to ask his colleague to lift him when she came home. Things seem to have gone beyond what we are discussing. But, I will keep trying as you said.
Hi,
Welcome back to icliniq.com.
Something might have triggered him to make you carry him, if it is to this extent. The best would be at least convincing him to meet a psychologist (counselor) if he is very anxious to meet a psychiatrist. Once an evaluation of his deep thoughts and behaviors done, then he can get a counseling appropriately. In the meantime, continue to explain him often and after a while he may stop asking. Thank you.
Same symptoms don't mean you have the same problem. Consult a doctor now!
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