Why am I having a feeling of insecurity about arranged marriage?

Question

Hello doctor,

I am 25 years old. I have never dated a guy before, because of my family constraints. I had a few mild crushes but never thought of approaching anyone. I have always thought of arranged marriage. But now, when my parents are asking me to meet families and boys for marriage, I do not know why I am not able to prepare my mind, to devote my life to someone, whom I am not sure of. So many questions are coming to my mind like: What if he turns out to be exactly the opposite, even if he looks good? What if I can not bear with him? I am a bit of a feminist. What if he does not respect my views? What if he wants to enclose my freedom? I had a good life, till now. Marriage is for a better life, I guess. What if my married life did not go well? I am very insecure and worried about the future, and all these thoughts are coming to my mind.

Please help me.

Thank you.

Answer 1

Hello,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I have gone through your query and understand your concerns.

Can I ask you a question? Do you have control over your concerns that you would go into the future and see if your marriage is successful or not? I would say no. So, do not worry. You do not have to worry about a thing that is not in your control. What you can do is live for the moment, and having expectations will hurt you. Because no one can fulfill your expectations the way you are worrying, making the present better can lead to a better future. Focus on your studies, make yourself busy, go for walks, have a good night's sleep, and a healthy diet, increase your social network, spend time with family, and share with your family member.

Thank you.