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Q. Is there something as sexual compatibility with a partner?

Answered by
Dr. Poosha Darbha
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
This is a premium question & answer published on Apr 22, 2018

Hello doctor,

When it comes to physical intimacy, my partner enjoys having sex with me. I am a male. For me, it seems blunt. In spite of the erection, my penis seems less sensitive and there is very little excitement. Is there something like sexual compatibility? That is, is one only compatible with certain women? I also do not enjoy much when it comes to touching her. She is the first person with whom I had sex with. Or, does it take some time for my body to get adjusted to her? Other than this, she is a great person and we have wonderful chemistry.



Welcome to

Yes, it sometimes happens this way. You get an erection and can do intercourse because you are (probably) excited at the prospect of having sexual interaction with this woman, who you seem to have good chemistry with. But, you also probably did not realize at that time that she is not the right sexual mate for you, though a great intellectual companion.

Although your body responded through erection and other bodily reactions, your mind remained cold and unresponsive because the sex appeal is missing or you just see her as an intellectual companion but not as a soulmate. This happens, and maybe a reason why there was very little sexual excitement during intercourse or upon touching her.

That way, your guess that one is compatible with only certain type(s) of women is valid. What does this lead to? At least two possibilities are there.

  1. You continue to be disinterested in sex with her, and within a short time, would move away from her (at least sexually).
  2. Alternatively, you might slowly get used to her physical appearances, moves, sexual body language, etc., and slowly start getting the excitement, and eventually start enjoying sex with her without regrets.

It depends on how you see the situation and how you mend yourself.

For more information consult a sexologist online -->

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Thank you doctor,

I am for the second option. To get attracted to her. From your experience and expertise how would you evaluate the success rate and what can I do towards it?



Welcome back to

Well, I may not be able to give you statistics, but I can assure you that the chances of success are high. The success depends on your inclination and pursuit. Since you are inclined towards the second option, I see a fair chance.

Would it not be a good idea to discuss over the phone on how to get there? It would be cumbersome to write paragraphs and paragraphs on that and yet not convey all that we may want to.

For more information consult a sexologist online -->

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