I am harming myself frequently. Why?

Question

Hello doctor,

I have had the following problems for quite a few years. I was all right at first, but lately, it has been getting worse. Moderate to severe depression almost all the time such that feeling happy is an escape and a treat. I harm myself when feelings go out of control. I hit or bang my head, and other parts of my body and I swear at myself. Lately, the frequency of such incident is increasing. Other people only know me as silent or very quiet, though occasionally I turn talkative. I am extremely scared of human relationships. I suffer from addiction to porn and binge eating. I feel extreme tiredness. I generally despise and have a morbid fear of romantic relationships and though I feel jealous of people who do. I try to avoid any such happenings in my life. I almost always try to be perfect in what I do and get depressed when I cannot. Sometimes, I talk to myself like I am two people, one cursing or talking soothingly and the other receiving it. I took an online personality test today, and it tells me I may have borderline personality disorder. Can you please tell me what am I suffering from?

Answer 1

Hi,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

You seem to be suffering from depressive symptoms. The episodes of self-harming behavior may be the consequence of your low frustration tolerance. You tend to avoid intimate relationships because you have a low self-esteem. All these boil down to an underlying depressive pathology, which has triggered a maladaptive behavior in you. Each one has their own ways of coping up with frustration. Try to focus on your career at present. Engage yourself in a new hobby, which will divert your mind. Give importance to physical fitness. Also, I suggest tablet Zosert (Sertraline) 50 mg twice daily along with tablet Clonotril (Clonazepam) 0.5 mg at night for a period of two weeks. Consult a specialist doctor, discuss with him or her and take treatment with consent. Thank you.