Why am I being toxic in a relationship and not happy?

Question

Hello doctor,

I am suffering from some mental health issues and do not know what I am doing. I am in a relationship and being toxic. I fantasize about negativity and toxicity a lot. It has been five years since my breakup, and last year I was sexually assaulted by a guy whom I fell in love with after my breakup, and still not getting over my first relationship. It has already been five years and I still think about him. He is with someone else and I am with someone else. My partner is making me very happy but the problem is that I am not happy with anyone or anything.

Please help.

Thank you.

Answer 1

Hello,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

I read your query and understand your concern.

Thank you for taking help from a psychiatrist. I can understand your situation. You may have major depressive disorder due to relationships. There is a non-pharmacological management for depression, you should try to follow the below guidelines to deal with it. It will help you.

First, you must move on from your past relationships. Do not stick in it. Concentrate on the current relationship. If you are not happy with him then do break up.
Take a break in your life. Do not just get into relationships casually. Concentrate on your career and life. Stop wasting time on this stuff.
You should do exercises daily for 30 to 45 minutes like at least going for a walk. It will uplift your mood.
You should do meditation for 20 minutes daily. Just sit in one place in a comfortable position and try to concentrate on your normal breathing, do not stop or force yourself to stop your thoughts, just let it be. It will relax you.
You should eat healthy home-cooked foods, and avoid junk foods.
You must drink enough water.
You should spend quality time with friends and family daily or do video calls if you are living away from your family.
You should spend time on creative hobbies like reading good books, writing journals, painting, drawing, and learning new skills or language or musical instruments.
You should take enough seven to eight hours of sleep daily.
You must avoid tobacco or alcohol or any substance abuse.
Live your life, do not just spend it.
Be bold and confident.

If you still have symptoms that persist after following the advice for four to six weeks, then you need to start medications for a short duration.

I hope you got your answer.

Please, let me know if you want some help.

Thank you.