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Q. In spite of not scolding my kid for lying, she still lies. How can I get her to confide?

Answered by
Dr. Kumarshri Shriniwas Saraswat
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
This is a premium question & answer published on Jun 27, 2018 and last reviewed on: Sep 12, 2020

Hello doctor,

This query is regarding my daughter. She is 7 years old. She used to say things that happened at school openly. At home, I never scold her for telling the truth and even if she lies, if she comes and tells me that, I never scold her. She gets severe punishment and beating if she lies. But still, she lies. I wonder why. She hates hearing no from me. I fear that if I say no to her, she would not confide in me and do things behind my back, as she does now. How can I make her confide in me?

#

Hello,

Welcome to icliniq.com.

Dealing with a 7-year-old could be difficult. Acceptance is the key when dealing with them. Accept what she says without being judgemental. Rather than telling her what is right/wrong, tell her why right is right and let her do the decision making.

Rather than scolding her for lying, appreciate and reward her when she speaks the truth. You can reward her more, when she confesses her lie.

I suggest you read 'token economy' on the internet. It is an excellent way of weakening the undesirable behavior and strengthening the desirable behavior. In it, children are given tokens everytime they do a desirable behavior and those tokens are exchanged at the weekend for something that they desire like sweets/toys. A regular and dedicated system of token economy works wonders in the long term.

Hope this helps.

For more information consult a psychiatrist online --> https://www.icliniq.com/ask-a-doctor-online/psychiatrist


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