Dr. Vishal Anilkumar Gandhi
Psychiatry
The following is an actual conversation between an iCliniq user and a doctor that has been reviewed and published as a Premium Q&A.
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Patient's Query
Hi doctor,
I have a question about sex. I am 64 years old and I am single. I had a few relationships before some years. They were short-lived. I am not sure whether I got addicted to porn. I will see it on an average of three or four times a month and I will leave a space of three or four days. I had some periods of abstinence. I want to become celibate until I get into a relationship. I want to follow a pattern. I have to remain celibate for a month and then take a leave of three or four days and then, again I want to remain celibate for another month. I can go for a month. At the same time, I realize that I have sexual urges. I do not want to rely on porn to satisfy these urges and I want to be in a relationship. It is not only for sex but for intimacy and connection. Can you tell me what is going on with me in this ongoing cycle of celibacy and moderate porn bingeing? I was sexually abused at the age of 12 or 13 years. It was a one-time incident and I had counseling for it.
Hi,
Welcome to icliniq.com.
I understand your concern. You are forcing yourself to keep abstinence. But you will get uncontrollable urges when you stop doing masturbation or porn. It is fine to have daily masturbation or sex as it is normal human nature. Some people can control their urges by doing pranayama or yoga or meditation and so they can go for abstinence for a long time. You can have a cycle of abstinence after doing these measures. But when you force yourself to be abstinent, then there will have binging of urges. This is normal for anyone to have this issue. Be relaxed and do not be worried. Do not force yourself to be in abstinence. Do not watch porn. It is fine to do masturbation and sex once a day.
Patient's Query
Thank you doctor,
I am following your suggestions for two weeks. I am fine by doing masturbation and sex. But I am not seeing any porn. Today, I saw a porn movie and masturbated again. I am concerned about the relapse of my habit. How can I stop doing it?
Hi,
Welcome back to icliniq.com.
I understand your concern. There is no specific medication that helps to prevent you from watching porn. You have to keep yourself busy and active. This helps to prevent you from watching porn. Even you can try to make fool yourself by telling yourself that I will watch porn tomorrow and not today. You can do this daily. This means that you will do it tomorrow and continue saying it every day.
Patient's Query
Thank you doctor,
Your solution remains unique. I will try to do it. I think that it can help me to resolve my issue. I was addicted to alcohol and I stopped doing it after few days. If I am trying to do it, then I will do it.
Hi,
Welcome back to icliniq.com.
Yes, you can do it. Your willpower remains strong.
Patient's Query
Thank you doctor,
I started watching porn again on and off. It made a negative effect on me and I think that it has reactivated my trauma. I have noticed that I am doing measures that increase my stress. When I get more stressed, I will find ways to escape. I am aware that this is not really healthy. I followed your suggestion by saying to myself that you can watch porn tomorrow not today. It helped me for a while and I was not able to sustain it. So I talk to you again. Sometimes, I manage my own, and sometimes, I have some difficulty. Kindly suggest.
Hi,
Welcome back to icliniq.com.
You can start taking medication that helps to control your pulse. You can take medication and it helps to reduce your stress and indirectly it helps to manage your issue. You can take capsule Fluoxetine 20 mg daily in the morning. It will surely help you.
Patient's Query
Thank you doctor,
I do not want to take any medication. Kindly suggest an alternative option. I use to meditate once a day but I am not so consistent. I watched porn before a day before talking to you. Now I am willing to stop it.
Hi,
Welcome back to icliniq.com.
I understand your concern. If you can follow these measures, then you can follow them. It helps you a lot. You can do exercise daily for 30 to 45 minutes every day. You can do meditation for 20 minutes daily. Just sit in a place in a comfortable position and try to concentrate on normal breathing. Do not force yourself to stop your thoughts. You need to eat healthy home-cooked foods and avoid eating junk foods. You should drink plenty of water. You should spend some time with your family and friends. You should spend time on your creative hobbies like reading books, writing journals, painting, drawing, learning new skills or language or musical instruments. You should sleep for seven to eight hours daily. You should avoid using tobacco or alcohol or any substance abuse. Live your life and do not spend it. Keep yourself busy and active as much as you can.
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Psychiatry
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