Q. I am unable to penetrate my partner. What am I doing wrong?

Answered by
Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.

Hi doctor,

I am a 31 year old male. I am unable to penetrate my partner. I have tried twice, and it did not work both the times. She is a virgin and I find it too hard to push and penetrate. This somehow kills my erection as well. I have tried foreplay also but somehow cannot get through this problem. I have tried putting my two fingers inside but she complains of immense pain. Also, though I have engaged in oral sex before this is my first penetration as well. I never had any problem in getting an erection. I am an active guy who plays a lot of sports. Can you please help me understand what is wrong here. This is making me very nervous.

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Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi

Psychiatry Psychotherapy Sexology


Welcome to icliniq.com.

You are getting good erections, but are losing them when you try to penetrate. This is happening because of tight vagina of your partner. Because of this, you are taking time during penetration and this results in loss of erection. This loss of erection is occurring because of psychological reasons.

You have tried long foreplay but this did not result in improvement. She still feels pain during penetration or when you try to insert fingers. This happens when girls start engaging in sex. You should use lubrication during sex. KY jelly can be used. You can also try using Lignocaine jelly. Ask her to apply this jelly to her vaginal opening. This will reduce the sensitivity and will reduce pain to some extent.

You are losing erection because you are not able to penetrate her. There is no physical issue and this is due to anxiety alone. With time, the problem will be solved.

For more information consult a sexologist online --> https://www.icliniq.com/ask-a-doctor-online/sexologist

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