Q. I am unable to penetrate my partner. What am I doing wrong?

Answered by
Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi
and medically reviewed by iCliniq medical review team.
This is a premium question & answer published on Dec 06, 2017 and last reviewed on: Jul 13, 2019

Hi doctor,

I am a 31 year old male. I am unable to penetrate my partner. I have tried twice, and it did not work both the times. She is a virgin and I find it too hard to push and penetrate. This somehow kills my erection as well. I have tried foreplay also but somehow cannot get through this problem. I have tried putting my two fingers inside but she complains of immense pain. Also, though I have engaged in oral sex before this is my first penetration as well. I never had any problem in getting an erection. I am an active guy who plays a lot of sports. Can you please help me understand what is wrong here. This is making me very nervous.


This is an Ad. icliniq or icliniq doctors do not endorse the content in the ad.

Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi

Psychiatry Psychotherapy Sexology


Welcome to icliniq.com.

You are getting good erections, but are losing them when you try to penetrate. This is happening because of tight vagina of your partner. Because of this, you are taking time during penetration and this results in loss of erection. This loss of erection is occurring because of psychological reasons.

You have tried long foreplay but this did not result in improvement. She still feels pain during penetration or when you try to insert fingers. This happens when girls start engaging in sex. You should use lubrication during sex. KY jelly can be used. You can also try using Lignocaine jelly. Ask her to apply this jelly to her vaginal opening. This will reduce the sensitivity and will reduce pain to some extent.

You are losing erection because you are not able to penetrate her. There is no physical issue and this is due to anxiety alone. With time, the problem will be solved.

For more information consult a sexologist online --> https://www.icliniq.com/ask-a-doctor-online/sexologist

Was this answer helpful?



This is an Ad. icliniq or icliniq doctors do not endorse the content in the ad.

Also Read Answers From:

Comprehensive Medical Second Opinion.Submit your Case

Related Questions & Answers

My wife is not interested in sex. How to initiate a sexual relationship with her?

Query: Hi doctor, I am a 36 year old male. I am a graduate and working for a MNC company. I got married in before 10 years and it is a love cum arranged marriage. My wife is also working with me. When I was in grade 3, I got introduced to sex by a male teacher. I used to go for tuition and he used me for ...  Read Full »

I experience episodes of anxiety every three years or so. Is it due to my medicines?

Query: Hello doctor,About every three years or so, I experience what I call an 'episode' where anxiety comes over me very quickly and I focus and worry about an issue that normally would not bother me. It takes over my mind so that it is all I can think about for weeks. This leads to instant insomnia and l...  Read Full »

Foreskin Is Swollen Like A Balloon After Frenuloplasty. Is This Normal?

Query: Hi doctor,Yesterday I had to have a frenuloplasty. I had to have a general anaesthetic. I woke up and never got any advice off the urologist because I never saw him after the procedure. The nurse who discharged me told me to take off the dressing in the morning and wash the wound and the foreskin tw...  Read Full »



Ask your health query to a doctor online?

Ask a Sexologist Now

* guaranteed answer within 4 hours.
Enter Your Health Query
You can upload files and images in the next step.



Disclaimer: All health Q&As published on this website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical diagnosis, advice or treatment by a trained physician. Seek the advice from your physician or other qualified health-care providers with questions you may have regarding your symptoms and medical condition for a complete medical diagnosis. Do not delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice because of something you have read on this website.